Did They Say “Not Ever?”
Asking a man or a woman out on a date can be incredibly nerve racking don’t you think? In the old days you would see him/her across a crowded room and after a stiff drink you would walk over to him/her and say hello and the rest, they say, is history. Today many people are using an online dating service to meet potential partners and although it’s easier to say hello, I believe it’s much harder to get her to say yes to a date! I know because I have been experimenting with online dating services to see what it’s like from a woman’s perspective. I can sum my experience up in one word. YIKES!
In my experience I was inundated with winks, smiles, inquiries, hellos and a few “howyadoin’s” and that was within the first half hour of signing up! From there it just got more interesting, the invites were coming from every age group, both genders and some very interesting prospects. I felt like I just landed in a bees nest and the swarm was on me! I tell you what I didn’t feel and that wasn’t interested in going out on a date with most of the people (I say people because some of the invites were coming from women) who contacted me. I am sure they are great people but their approach let me feeling less than willing to find out how wonderful they were. What amazed me was the response they gave me when I said “no thank you” and it was then I really understood what was happening for them. The rejection, even a thoughtful one, was more than they could handle and I could see why.
People appear to have this false sense of confidence when using online dating services and their confidence takes a serious beating when someone rejects their invitation. Rejection is exactly how it feels to someone who has low self-esteem or struggles with confidence. I know because there was a day I stood in their shoes. There was a time in my life where my low self-esteem and lack of confidence controlled my life and stopped me from having things in my life I wished for. I can relate to how these people felt when I said “no” to them. It’s because of this that I am able to work with people building their self-esteem and confidence and what allows me to make a difference in their lives. I changed my level of confidence and self-esteem when I started working with a coach myself also by making a commitment to making a difference in my life and I know you can too.
I am a firm believer in love and partnership and I believe there is someone for everyone in the world. The problem is it is so easy to miss your mate if you don’t know how to approach them in a way they recognize as inviting. It’s like judging a book by its cover! If the cover looks or sounds unappealing you are not going to be interested in opening the pages and finding out what the book’s about. Your approach can make or break what happens next in your budding relationship and getting it right is not as hard as you think.
What does it take? The answer is as unique as each one of us; knowing your answer comes from within and with coaching you will discover yours. I am here to help you discover your answers, to build your confidence and feeling of self-worth so when you ask that special person out on a date they reply “Yes and when can we go!” Provide your name and email to hear more about how I can help.