What is Step 3?
Continuing on with the conversation If you were free ~ what would you choose? here is what works for me and is the next step in my process of choosing what I want in my life. Step 3 is about discovering who I am, finding clarity in who I choose to be and identifying the words that resonate powerfully with me. If you haven’t seen steps 1&2 I recommend that you read them first so step 3 will make sense to you.
Who am I REALLY? One thing that was quite clear to me before I worked on this piece, I thought I knew who I was and then I discovered that I had no clue! I discovered that the people in my world saw me differently than I saw myself. I discovered that those people in my life saw me differently from each other as well. When asked they used words like: a bold and courageous woman, a loving mother, a woman with confidence, trustworthy, a leader, fun, happy, giving, caring, loving and generous. No-one used words like sad, lost, unreliable, afraid, not good enough, unhappy, a fraud, lousy mother, terrible friend, and selfish. The latter were words I used to describe myself so you could imagine my surprise when the people in my world said differently. How could this be? First of all I have to admit I did see some of the qualities others saw in me but I didn’t believe them and those words didn’t fit with the ones I identified with so I dismissed them as real.
So when did this all shift for me? Well it was in 2012, I was sitting in a weekend seminar with 185 strangers listening to the guy at the front of the room. We were deep into the question “who am I?” I was getting quite frustrated with the question, we had been asking it for two days and it appeared I was no closer to the answer than when we started two days earlier! I listened to others in the room grappling with the question just like me and it was apparent that none of us knew who we were. Then something happened on the third day that I will never forget. The guy at the front of the room was talking about words and that without words we didn’t exist. Really? He went on to say that without language nothing in our world would exist. Are you kidding me? Really? Then he did something that finally made sense to me. He held up his index finger, pointing it towards the ceiling, I looked up and saw nothing. He asked people in the room to describe what they saw and there were answers like: a hand, finger pointing, the number one, this way up and he said, now describe what you see without using words. The room was silent. I got two things out of this exercise. 1. without words we can not describe what we see and 2. every person who offered a description were correct and they all saw something different in the same thing. This was the answer to how we can see things differently in each other and why different people see things differently. It was also the opening I needed to answer the question who am I. So who am I? I am my word.
I am my word and I can be any word I choose to be
How powerful is that??? I stood up and asked, the guy at the front of the room, “do you mean to say that I can be any word I choose to be?” The answer was ~ YES! In that moment I had the most incredible moving experience I have ever felt, it was like my whole world spun on it’s axis and opened up to a brand new world of possibilities. I could be any word I wanted to be! Once this settled into my brain it created a whole new way of being that to this day still effective and powerful when I choose it to be. One of my favourite exercises is to start my day with the sentence “I am the possibility of ______. I fill in the blank with words like “being a bold leader”, “generosity”, and my favourite, “being a magnet for yes”. It’s incredible how often I hear the word “yes” when I use that one. The point is words are very powerful and our world doesn’t exist without them so my advice to you is choose your words wisely and make them work for you not against you.
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ciao for now,