It is true! After many years of feeling “broken” and looking for ways to “fix” my life, I have finally found a piece of the puzzle that was missing for me in my quest to “fix” what I thought was wrong. It turns out there is nothing wrong, nothing to fix and I’m not broken. I just need to adjust my perspective on life.
My studies regarding perspective or limiting beliefs (Biology of Beliefs written by Dr Bruce Lipton goes into great detail on this subject) has given me a new understanding of my habitual ways of being and how to change those habits that no longer work for me. The exploration of the limiting beliefs that had me going through life repeating scenarios (have you ever said: “Damn it, I have been here before!” a reoccurring statement for me) is very revealing and enlightening at the same time. The following is my understanding of where my beliefs were formed and the reformation of those beliefs from limiting to empowering using a technique called Psych-K.
Limiting Belief #1 – “I am invisible” (a derivative of I’m not worthy)
Empowering Belief #1 – “I am seen for who I am today”
It hasn’t always been this way, looking back on my life I realize I had no idea that I was invisible. I was (still am) an outgoing adult, I am very social, an active volunteer in my community, someone others come to share their challenges in life. People see me as a mother, wife, an entrepreneurial woman in the community but mostly, people have trouble recalling my name or they called me by some other name. I wouldn’t correct them because I didn’t want to embarrass them and really it wasn’t a big deal, or so I thought at the time. I recently became aware of how most things in my life are “no big deal” and I’m now realizing how that way of being, throughout life, was a significant indication of my invisibleness.
I was five years old when I became invisible, my story is not unlike many children of my age and I suspect there are many people wandering through their lives unaware that they are invisible just like I had. What happened was my parent separated and the one person who saw me, my dad, left our family. At the tender age of five I had been abandoned, my world, as I knew it, collapsed and I became invisible in my family. No-one knew and the worst part is, because I wasn’t aware, I was to spend the next 50 years of my life living as an invisible person.
How could this happen and what was my evidence to support this thought? First of all, let me clarify that I had not been abandoned as a child in the way we see abandonment. Yes, my parents separated and for a very short time, I did see my dad on occasion. I lived with my mother and five brothers until the age of seven when my mother remarried and introduced me to three more brothers and one sister. My mother loved me and my stepfather did all that he could to provide for what we needed. I had all my basic needs covered including a roof over my head, clothes on my body and food in my stomach. I wasn’t a deprived child but I was a lonely child and I was a lost child in the group. You can imagine how difficult it would have been to stand out in a family of 12. Imagine how difficult it would have been to be the parents of 10 kids? When you live life day to day in survival mode you can imagine that love and nurture were not part of our daily routine. I don’t tell you this to gain your sympathy, I share this to give you insight into how I lived my life as an invisible child.
Don’t get me wrong I love my family and I know my family loves me because to this day I know if I was in need they would be there for me in a heartbeat. What was missing in my life was the day to day show of affection and unconditional love that we all want in our lives and the result of what was missing in my life was more evidence of me being invisible.
I had plenty of evidence as a teenager but then, that is the time in our lives that I think most of us want to disappear. Being invisible as a teenager worked for me. As a teenager, I floated through life relatively unnoticed and without too many life-altering moments, in fact, I would say my teenage years were fairly uneventful and boring. When I became a wife and mother I had many responsibilities and very little time to think about anything other than everyone else’s needs. Like most Mothers, my time was not my own but consumed with daily tasks that made time pass very quickly. Being invisible as a young mother was hard and welcomed at the same time. It wasn’t until I wanted to follow my dreams, find my passion and purpose in life did this become a problem for me. Every time I thought I found what I was looking for ‘something’ kept holding me back and I would go through many years of disappointment and frustration because I just couldn’t figure out what that ‘something’ was!
By using the Psych-K techniques I am reforming the beliefs I have habitually lived with all these years, quickly and effectively and creating the life I want now.