Personal Touch Best Solutions

"When you have exhausted all possibilities, remember this — you haven't."

Archive for the category “Confidence coach”

Permission to Take Time… again!


I originally wrote this piece back in 2014, updated it again in 2015 and re-read it recently only to find that I’m not following my own advice here!  I am hearing myself say “I don’t have time for (you name it I’ve said it).  My first reaction was to start chastising myself for not practicing what I preach and then it occurred to me that perhaps there was a better way to bring this back into my daily awareness!  When I look back I can see there were times I put this into practice and what my process was to do that.  Looking closer at that process I started to see the steps I took to shift my way of being and get back on track with what’s important to me.

What is important to me?

To live my life everyday with joy, to love my friends and family unconditionally and to work with passion and purpose making a difference for others.  

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I can see that I am not always in alignment with these words and I need a reset moment to get me back on track!  A reset moment?  What does that look like?  It’s a moment where I take a time out, step back to have a better overall view of where I am right now, review my priorities, make changes as needed and get back into the game with an action plan in hand!   This is not a one-time only exercise and realizing this fact has made it possible for me to get back on track faster and stay longer.

What would you change in your life if you had a transformational reset moment when you felt off track?  Perhaps some of these examples are areas for reset in your life:

reconnect  with people in your life you have lost touch with

refocus your attention at work or home to bring back the pleasure in those areas

reset your goals in life because the path you are on isn’t working for you

rejuvenate your appreciation for who you are in the world (this may also be a new awareness for you)
restart your passion for living, just like when you were a child, remember those days?
re-activate your love for your job, if you didn’t have this in the beginning then a reset is mandatory!
rediscover the pleasures of life because life is meant to be enjoyed and lived fully!
I am now in the process of creating the process of a reset moment and my goal is to have something tangible that I can share with others who find themselves in the same place.  If you feel that you are not on track with what’s important to you and you want the opportunity to reset, you will want to stay connected with me in this conversation.  Use the comment space below or subscribe to my blog to stay in this conversation.
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Here is the original post I wrote back in 2014, I would love to hear your comments about this or anything in this post that resonates with you.

It sounds funny to ask for permission to take time and that’s exactly what you must do when you are creating moments in your life.  We have all said, at some point in our lives, “I can’t afford to take the time” and “I should be doing something else, not wasting time doing this”.   We often do not give ourselves permission to be in the moment doing things that we like to do and it is impossible to be in the moment without it. 

I started this conversation talking about creating time and being in the moment.  This post is part of that conversation because giving yourself permission to use your newly created time is a key element along with being in the moment and commitment to clarity. Giving yourself permission takes awareness and practice AND, so I have discovered, it is quite rewarding when you do.  What kind of rewards can you expect?  It varies, from tangible rewards like lovely gifts and intangible rewards like kind and thoughtful words shared by others.

Often we use one of many excuses as to why we don’t have time.

“I have too many things to do right now, I’ll do it later”

“If I stop now I’ll never catch up”

“I’ll have plenty of time to do (stuff) when I’m older (retired)”

Which one have do you use?  We typically make the mistake thinking our time is not our own when actually, it is.  Yes, we have our commitments, responsibilities, expectations and it’s up to us make time for these and what we want in life.   I know, I know, easier said than done, I agree and I still say it’s possible when you make a commitment to yourself to follow through with what ever it takes to make it happen.  It starts with…

Giving yourself permission to take the time AND believing that it is possible.

From this point on every step forward is a good one whether it’s a giant leap or a baby step.  The question is “what would you be doing right now if you had the time?”  Pick something and make  commitment to yourself to do it.  If you can’t do it right now, pick a day and time within the next 7 days to just do it!  Make it happen!  I would love to hear how it went for you and what your experience was if you are game to share.

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It’s your time, take it!

Lisa

 

 

 

Time to Take Out the Trash


Look familiar?

photo credit to abundancetapestry.com

Trash talk happens.  When it does, do you listen or put it in it’s place?

Are you aware of your “trash talk?”  Not sure?  I can tell you it comes from that little voice in your head that just said “what is she talking about? and I don’t hear voices in my head!”  Yes, that little voice.  If you have spent anytime listening to that voice chances are you have hear a lot of trash talk.  You are not alone in this experience and it’s an epidemic in our society.  It is safe to say the source of our insecurities, lack of confidence and diminished view of self-worth is fuelled by trash talk and it’s time to take out the trash for good!

There is an imaginary muscle in our thoughts that, when exercised, can toss the trash when you use it, of course, and like any muscle regular exercise is needed.  Staying toned is vital to keeping the trash at a manageable level and in check at all times.  Two things that are important to understand, 1. you will never rid yourself of trash talk completely and 2. you CAN keep it at a minimum so it’s not running your life.

When it comes to any new exercise regime it’s vital to take note of where you are right now and to have a goal in mind that you are reaching for.  What happens between those two points requires consistent practice through focus, commitment and disciplined determination.  I have a quote that I use as a tagline in my emails that says:

“discipline is simply choosing between what I want right now and what I want most”

I read it every time I send an email as a reminder of what I want most in my life.  What quote are you using to remind yourself of what’s important to you?  If you don’t have one, find one that resonates with you and use it!

Now that you are aware of your trash talk, what kind of things are you hearing?  Do you catch yourself agreeing with your little voice?  Are you as horrible as your little voice says?  What we say to ourselves is horrendous and what’s really amazing is we would never allow others to say these things to us so why do we allow ourselves?  Think about it?  If someone told you that you were a loser, you will never amount to anything in your life, you are not good enough or pretty enough or you certainly don’t deserve to be happy.  You would likely give them a full fisted sandwich in the kisser!  So why do we listen to the little voice?

There was a time in our history, billions of years ago that little voice came in handy, it was the voice of reason when human beings roamed the earth in search of food and shelter.  It was every man (woman) for themselves and definitely animal eat animal world out there.  Wait a minute!  It sounds like nothing has changed in a billion years!!!  Our little voice is a vital part of our survival in this world and unfortunately it doesn’t know when to shut up and keep it’s opinions to itself. Kidding aside that little voice has saved your life at some point and for that you can be grateful.  The downside of having our little voice in our heads is when it goes into negative mode and constantly bombards you with thoughts that are hurtful and damaging and this is where you need to take charge.

Most people think that life happens to them, what they don’t realize is that we are capable of creating our lives.  Not only capable but responsible!  What is so magical at this point is when we take responsibility for the creation of our lives we also gain the power to create life anyway that we want.

What do you want?

Do you have any idea of what you truly want in your life?  Most of us say “yes” but stop and think about the question and most of you will be completely blank.  I know because I have gone through this exercise myself and I go through it with my clients. I still haven’t met anyone who could clearly answer the question.  Why not?  Well, it all comes back to that pesky little voice and the trash it’s been sharing with us over the years.  Nasty!

The bottom line is manage the little voice, have it work for you rather than against you and you can have what ever your little heart desires.

Yes, you can have it all

Time is of the Essence


No Time!

No Time!

Have you ever heard someone say “I don’t have time?”  Of course you have and I expect it’s something you have said yourself many times throughout your life, most of us have.  “I don’t have time!  Is this really true?  Is it possible to change time, create time or make time?

I had the pleasure of spending time with a lovely group of women the other night and one conversation in particular stood out for me.  One of the younger women was sharing that she didn’t have time to do the things she wanted to do and I could see she was quite stressed about it.  Listening to her share make me think about the whole concept of time and how our lives are so wrapped up in it.

Someone once said to me that “time doesn’t exist anywhere else but in our minds and only humans use time as a measure”.  I laughed and replied, “what do you mean time doesn’t exist?  Of course it does and it’s finite!”  There are 24 hours in a day, 8 hours in a work day (for some) and an hour has a maximum of 60 minutes!  I am most aware of time when I have more things to do than the time to do them.  You know what I mean?  So you can’t tell me that time doesn’t exist!!!

Funny though, when I started thinking about it and allowed this concept to linger on my mind I noticed a shift in my perception of time.  I noticed that, on occasion, time appeared to stop and at times felt like it slowed down, almost like a rubber band, it seemed like it stretched at opportune and inopportune times.  How was this possible? I wanted to know more.

I set aside my biased opinion about time and allowed myself to consider that time really didn’t exist outside of my mind.  I imagined my day without using the concept of time and an amazing thing happened.  Time disappeared.  Literally, it disappeared and I was amazed at how much I was able to accomplish that day.  Not only did I get a lot done, I was able to truly enjoy all that I did and I marvelled how I felt when I was done.  Reflecting back on the day I could see how, by removing the concept of time, my day was full and fulfilling at the same time without stress and anxiety.  As a result of this experiment I have become a believer that time is a concept and that we do have the ability to exist without it any time we wish.   I have adopted the thought that “I am the creator of my time and I am not longer controlled by time itself.”  Could you imagine what this would look like on a daily basis?

Utter chaos I would suspect.  Time was created for the purpose of controlling people.  Think about it.  Who would show up, on time, for work?  For appointments?  For play dates and coffee?  Imagine if time hadn’t been created, how would we manage to function?  Quite differently I would venture and without the mountain of issues we have today.  Go back to a time when time wasn’t measure as it is today, back to prehistoric times when time was measure differently.

I’m not an expert on prehistoric times and I understand is that period of time was measure by seasons and daylight.  Cavemen and women got up with the light, went to sleep when it was dark, planted crops when the ground thawed and harvested before the ground froze again. I imagine life was much harder and much simpler without all the modern conveniences we enjoy today and I bet they didn’t sit around the fire exclaiming that they “didn’t have time”, nor were they stressed about all the things that they had to do.  They were too busy doing rather than talking about it.  I understand that their thoughts and thought processes were quite simple compared to the modern man and woman of today.  Back then I expect their thoughts consisted of “eat or be eaten, find shelter and keep warm”. The simplicity of their time, I would suspect, allowed time to move much slower than the pace we experience today.

Fast forward to today.  It wouldn’t be realistic to think we can live without time all the time and I believe we can alter our perception of time when we know how and when it suits our needs.  The secret is in the knowing and I will share what I know so you too can make time for the things you want in your life.

There are a few key elements required to successfully alter time one of which is being fully present in the moment.  Although challenging being present in the moment is a learned skills that requires ongoing practice to master.  The good news is once learned this skill will enhance other areas of your life as well.  What do I mean by “being present in the moment?”

Simply put it means to be fully focused or aware of everything around you in any given moment without conscious thought about anything else from the past or in the future.  Take a moment to be aware of your surrounding right now as you read this and note everything that you have not either noticed or paid attention to because you were thinking about what you did yesterday/last week or what you need to do later/tomorrow etc.  

Take a moment to really acknowledge your present surroundings including visual objects, sounds, smells, how your body feels and the thoughts in your head.  A simple exercise of thanking each item you acknowledge as you become aware of them is a great way to keep your focus in the moment rather than wandering back to past or present thoughts.  If you find your thoughts wandering (as they do in all of us) gently direct them back to the exercise at hand.  What I do when I find my thoughts wandering is to say (silently) “thank you for sharing and right now I am being present in the moment”.  Sometimes I have to repeat this many times to get back to the exercise and that’s okay, it normal and part of the process of learning and strengthening this skill.

At this very moment, as I do this exercise myself, this is what I am experiencing.  I can hear the ticking of a clock and I am grateful for the consistent sound of each tick.  I can hear a consistent hum or vibration, I believe coming from within me, that I wasn’t aware of before and I am grateful for the opportunity to hear it.  In the distance I can hear the occasional vehicle passing nearby on the highway, airplane flying and I am grateful for the times that I live in that allow for this type of transportation.  Visually I am surrounded by the warmth of wood in the cabin where I am sitting and I’m grateful for all this cabin has to offer me including warmth, protection from the elements, security and comfort.  I am aware of the things within my sight including a soft light, comfortable couches and modern furniture I am grateful to have in my life.  I am present to the colours of things in my space, I have surrounded myself with earth tones of greens/browns/black/red/orange and natural tones.  I am grateful for the soothing feelings I have when I’m in this space.  In this moment I am thinking of nothing else but what I have just described and for a brief moment the rest of the world did not exist.  While in this exercise I was not aware of time at all or anything else outside of what I just shared.  Interestingly enough while focussing on everything around me I didn’t hear the sound of typing on my computer, so technically, I left one sound out of being in the moment.  🙂

I encourage you to practice this skill as often as you can to help you build your muscles.  Literally, take a minute or 10 to fit this exercise into your day and begin to create the time you need to do the things you want.  I promise you will feel timeless joy from this exercise.  Being in the moment is one element of managing time, the other elements are: clear intentions (knowing what you want), permission (giving yourself permission to experience) and discipline to name a few.  I will talk about each of these in future posts and show you how you can create time to have what you want in your life.

PTBS logo 500 pixalsTo live your life as you choose and to have the time to enjoy it is my wish for you.  If you have an experience you would like to share or you would like to hear more, please feel free to contact me using the contact form below.  I personally respond to all requests.

2015 in review


The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2015 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 1,200 times in 2015. If it were a cable car, it would take about 20 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

What is Step 3?


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Continuing on with the conversation If you were free ~ what would you choose?  here is what works for me and is the next  step in my process of choosing what I want in my life. Step 3 is about discovering who I am, finding clarity in who I choose to be and identifying the words that resonate powerfully with me.  If you haven’t seen steps 1&2 I recommend that you read them first so step 3 will make sense to you.

            Step one                        Step two

 Who am I REALLY?  One thing that was quite clear to me before I worked on this piece, I thought I knew who I was and then I discovered that I had no clue!  I discovered that the people in my world saw me  differently than I saw myself.  I discovered that those people in my life saw me differently from each other as well.  When asked they used words like: a bold and courageous woman, a loving mother, a woman with confidence,  trustworthy, a leader, fun, happy, giving, caring, loving and generous.  No-one used words like sad, lost, unreliable, afraid, not good enough, unhappy, a fraud, lousy mother, terrible friend, and selfish.  The latter were words I used to describe myself so you could imagine my surprise when the people in my world said differently.  How could this be?  First of all I have to admit I did see some of the qualities others saw in me but I didn’t believe them and those words didn’t fit with the ones I identified with so I dismissed them as real.

So when did this all shift for me?  Well it was in 2012, I was sitting in a weekend seminar with 185 strangers listening to the guy at the front of the room.  We were deep into the question “who am I?”  I was getting quite frustrated with the question, we had been asking it for two days and it appeared I was no closer to the answer than when we started two days earlier!  I listened to others in the room grappling with the question just like me and it was apparent that none of us knew who we were.  Then something happened on the third day that I will never forget.  The guy at the front of the room was talking about words and that without words we didn’t exist.  Really?  He went on to say that without language nothing in our world would exist.  Are you kidding me?  Really?  Then he did something that finally made sense to me.  He held up his index finger, pointing it towards the ceiling, I looked up and saw nothing. He asked people in the room to describe what they saw and there were answers like: a hand, finger pointing, the number one, this way up and he said, now describe what you see without using words.  The room was silent.  I got two things out of this exercise. 1. without words we can not describe what we see and 2. every person who offered a description were correct and they all saw something different in the same thing.  This was  the answer to how we can see things differently in each other and why different people see things differently.  It was also the opening I needed to answer the question who am I.  So who am I?  I am my word.

I am my word and I can be any word I choose to be  who am I?

How powerful is that???  I stood up and asked, the guy at the front of the room, “do you mean to say that I can be any word I choose to be?”  The answer was ~ YES!  In that moment I had the most incredible moving experience I have ever felt, it was like my whole world spun on it’s axis and opened up to a brand new world of possibilities.  I could be any word I wanted to be!  Once this settled into my brain it created a whole new way of being that to this day still effective and powerful when I choose it to be.  One of my favourite exercises is to start my day with the sentence “I am the possibility of ______. I fill in the blank with words like “being a bold leader”,  “generosity”, and my favourite, “being a magnet for yes”.  It’s incredible how often I hear the word “yes” when I use that one.  The point is words are very powerful and our world doesn’t exist without them so my advice to you is choose your words wisely and make them work for you not against you.

If you would like notification of the following steps definitely add your name to the list by subscribing to my blog and if you feel so inclined, leave a comment below!  Thank you for being here now and giving life to my words through your eyes.

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ciao for now, 

lisa

 

 

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