One of the most challenging places to stand as a coach is in the space of upset. In that moment, when there is a need to take an unpopular position to cause a breakthrough for a client, I run the risk of losing the client because of the stand. Why, as a coach, would I put myself in that position? Because I believe that significant growth comes out of our most difficult moments and my job is to cause movement in areas of my client’s lives where historically there has never been movement before.
The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2015 annual report for this blog.
Here’s an excerpt:
A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 1,200 times in 2015. If it were a cable car, it would take about 20 trips to carry that many people.
Continuing on with the conversation If you were free ~ what would you choose? here is what works for me and is the next step in my process of choosing what I want in my life. Step 3 is about discovering who I am, finding clarity in who I choose to be and identifying the words that resonate powerfully with me. If you haven’t seen steps 1&2 I recommend that you read them first so step 3 will make sense to you.
Who am I REALLY? One thing that was quite clear to me before I worked on this piece, I thought I knew who I was and then I discovered that I had no clue! I discovered that the people in my world saw me differently than I saw myself. I discovered that those people in my life saw me differently from each other as well. When asked they used words like: a bold and courageous woman, a loving mother, a woman with confidence, trustworthy, a leader, fun, happy, giving, caring, loving and generous. No-one used words like sad, lost, unreliable, afraid, not good enough, unhappy, a fraud, lousy mother, terrible friend, and selfish. The latter were words I used to describe myself so you could imagine my surprise when the people in my world said differently. How could this be? First of all I have to admit I did see some of the qualities others saw in me but I didn’t believe them and those words didn’t fit with the ones I identified with so I dismissed them as real.
So when did this all shift for me? Well it was in 2012, I was sitting in a weekend seminar with 185 strangers listening to the guy at the front of the room. We were deep into the question “who am I?” I was getting quite frustrated with the question, we had been asking it for two days and it appeared I was no closer to the answer than when we started two days earlier! I listened to others in the room grappling with the question just like me and it was apparent that none of us knew who we were. Then something happened on the third day that I will never forget. The guy at the front of the room was talking about words and that without words we didn’t exist. Really? He went on to say that without language nothing in our world would exist. Are you kidding me? Really? Then he did something that finally made sense to me. He held up his index finger, pointing it towards the ceiling, I looked up and saw nothing. He asked people in the room to describe what they saw and there were answers like: a hand, finger pointing, the number one, this way up and he said, now describe what you see without using words. The room was silent. I got two things out of this exercise. 1. without words we can not describe what we see and 2. every person who offered a description were correct and they all saw something different in the same thing. This was the answer to how we can see things differently in each other and why different people see things differently. It was also the opening I needed to answer the question who am I. So who am I? I am my word.
I am my word and I can be any word I choose to be
How powerful is that??? I stood up and asked, the guy at the front of the room, “do you mean to say that I can be any word I choose to be?” The answer was ~ YES! In that moment I had the most incredible moving experience I have ever felt, it was like my whole world spun on it’s axis and opened up to a brand new world of possibilities. I could be any word I wanted to be! Once this settled into my brain it created a whole new way of being that to this day still effective and powerful when I choose it to be. One of my favourite exercises is to start my day with the sentence “I am the possibility of ______. I fill in the blank with words like “being a bold leader”, “generosity”, and my favourite, “being a magnet for yes”. It’s incredible how often I hear the word “yes” when I use that one. The point is words are very powerful and our world doesn’t exist without them so my advice to you is choose your words wisely and make them work for you not against you.
If you would like notification of the following steps definitely add your name to the list by subscribing to my blog and if you feel so inclined, leave a comment below! Thank you for being here now and giving life to my words through your eyes.
ciao for now,
Wow! Recently I have been delving into the world of online dating to better understand this way of connecting and my eyes have been opened to a curious phenomenon. People (it seems to be balanced between men and women) appear to post false information about themselves and use old pictures in their profiles. WHY ARE THEY DOING THIS?
What do they hope to gain with this approach? Do they hope that people will look past the dishonesty once they meet in person? Apparently it’s not happening that way at all. According to the responses I have received the number one turn off for both men and women is misrepresentation and the effect of the experience affects their future connections.
According to the men and women who shared their experiences with me the experience of that dishonesty coloured their view of online dating and made it difficult to see the real beauty of the person they met. The areas of misrepresentation that top the list are: age, education, true wants and most importantly, current image of the person in the profile. If you are looking to find that special someone and create a love connection using the online dating services honesty from the start is a must in these areas.
I have read many profiles and the ones that stand out for me are clear, concise, captivating and brief. When I say brief I don’t mean a couple of sentences or arm’s length. Interesting enough the profiles that get read are the ones that use point form outlining what the person has to offer and what they are looking for. Sounds like applying for a job? I think the principles are similar and the approach can be as well.
I recommend starting with accurate bio info and current pictures to start you search off on the best possible foot. The right person is going to connect with you because of who you truly are and will accept you for who you are not. All you have to do is trust they will and do the same for them.
If you are interested in having me view your profile or work with you in creating your profile please feel free to contact me through this post. I will respond to all legitimate inquiries and comments.
(click the pic to see what they are)