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Archive for the tag “confidence building”

The Woman in the Mirror


“Who is the woman in the mirror?”  I sometimes ask that question when I’m standing in front of a mirror and often the answer is “I don’t know”.  Maybe it’s because it’s part of transitioning through stages of my life or I’m in the process of reinventing myself (again) and it could also be that I’ve been focussing inward (looking at my life) for too long rather than outward (living my life).  This happens a lot when I’m in discovery mode rather than living mode.  It’s not a bad thing but it is something to be aware of and adjust when I spend too much time in that space.  There are times and places for both modes when I’m in the process of exploring who I am as a person.  For those of us going through the process of discovering who we are, it’s an important part of the process.

It seems that life is a series of opposites with examples everywhere we look.  There is the yin and yang, the positive and negative, the good and bad, the up and down, the here and there, now and then, back and forth, young and old, hot and cold, day and night, sunrise and sunset, the list goes on and on. It’s important to remember this when you are asking the question, “who am I?” Why is it important? Because we are many things and often we get stuck behind the image of who we think we are and it’s often the source of your limiting belief about yourself. One of my most limiting beliefs, in the past, was “Others won’t like me if they really knew me”.  This belief is quite common as I hear other women talk about being frauds and inauthentic.  The issue is, I have an idea of who I am based on traits, thoughts and actions and other people (from their perspective) do as well.  So who am I?  The answer is: I am the collective sum of all the perspectives including mine!

First of all, let me be very clear, there is nothing wrong here and exploring this topic can be fun and quite insightful!  In my experience, when I’m seeing myself as less than desirable or ugly or unlovable, I am spending too much time listening to my internal voice, the one connected to some limiting belief I haven’t eradicated yet. When I am listening to others I see a completely different woman and it has a huge effect on how I feel! Whose perspective should I trust to be true, mine or theirs?  As I have found out there is no clear answer to this question.  It’s important to understand who you are and you are free to create your own definition BUT (and a big but at that) if your day to day life experience includes struggle, hardship, anger (yours or others toward you) and you no longer want that in your life then it’s important to understand how others see you because, in their perspective, you will find views of you that you may not be aware of.  Your ways of being that are not in alignment with who you think you are.

How can you find out how you appear to others?  Well, just ask and listen to what they have to say.  Listen without judgement, without emotion and without making them wrong for sharing their perspective.  The safer you make this for them the more honest they will be with you.  You do have to accept what they share and understand it’s just a perspective.  Remember the movie “It’s a Wonderful Life”?  The main character, George, gets a do-over in his life when he becomes aware of who he is in the eyes of others and so do you if you want your life to be different!

Here are 5 short questions, you can ask the people in your life, that will provide you with some insight as to how you occur in the world.  Before you ask these questions, let them know that their honesty is vital to the exercise and that you are ready to hear their responses.  No matter what their responses are you will not make them wrong for sharing.  They have to feel safe otherwise you will not get what you need from this exercise.  You may not like what you hear and you need to hear it if you want to make adjustments in your life.  When I did this exercise I can honestly say I did hear things I didn’t like,  I acknowledged their courage and I was grateful to the person for sharing.  Their honesty gave me what I needed to see where I was stuck in my life.  Before you finish with each question, ask them “is there anything else?” and continue to ask this question until they say no. This is an effective tool to stimulate more answers (if there are any). Be sure to document their responses, I guarantee you will forget all but a few by the time you are done with this exercise.

Who Am I Interview Questions

  1. From your perspective, what are my strongest character traits?
  2. What character traits do I have that challenge you?
  3. In your experience of me, what am I good at?
  4. How do you think other people see me?
  5. In your experience of me, what do you think I struggle with?

Who to ask?  I recommend that you choose a cross-section of people.  Some who know you well and others who are new in your life and don’t.  Friends and family members will be the safest and typically less forthcoming with ‘honest’ answers as they have the most to lose by telling you the truth.  You have to find a way to help them feel safe for sharing.  People you work with will give you a different perspective than people you live with.  What you are looking for in these interviews are ways of being that you may not be aware and confirmation of what you already know.  The more interviews you do the more insight you will receive.  My last word of advice with this is to have fun with it!  Make it a fun game for both you and the people you interview, it will be more rewarding in the end.

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What Are You Thinking???


“You don’t become what you want, you become what you believe.” 

– Oprah Winfrey –

Your subconscious mind accepts as truth, the statements you tell yourself it doesn’t care whether those statements are negative or positive.  

So why would you choose to continually tell yourself that you are not good enough?  Not smart enough? Not pretty enough? Or that you don’t deserve to be happy? Have you ever heard yourself saying any of these statements in your head? How about “I’m so stupid, I’m not worthy, nobody loves me, I can’t do this.”  Anyone of these statements can stop you from achieving what you want in life and the good news is you don’t have to listen to them anymore!  First of all none of the statements above are true.

I can hear some of you saying “they are for me” and “they are not my choice!” to that, I say again, NONE OF THESE STATEMENTS ARE TRUE. For anyone.  These words are a perspective, yours or someone else’s and you accepted these words as truth.  These negative statements are bogus and they were added to your life program that resides in your subconscious mind. At some point in your life or before (another conversation), these programmed statements, and many others were saved in your mind files causing you to operate in life as if they are true.  In other words, these are limiting belief statements embedded in your subconscious mind and they are limiting your life potential. You don’t have to live with these words anymore and you can reform these statement from negative into positive ones and change the outcome of your life.  Not only have other people done this successfully for themselves, more people are discovering that they can too and so can you.

Consider the alternative statements “I am good at what I do”, “I have all the knowledge I need” “I am beautiful, inside and out”, “I am worthy of the best that love and life have to offer” These statements are true for people who believe these words, whole-heartedly.  They are the people who appear to be insanely happy all the time!  You know ‘those’ people, the ones who appear to be over the top happy, living life to it’s fullest, always wearing a perma-grin on their lips.  I used to think “they can’t be that happy all the time”!  Well, a matter a fact, yes they can and you can be as well!  In fact, our natural way of being, as a human, is to be happy, content, joyful, grateful, compassionate, caring, social, nurturing, happy, happy, happy! It’s time to be the human being you were meant to be!

So why aren’t we happy?

There is a myriad of reasons why we are not happy and they all come back to what we believe.  What we believe about ourselves, our life and the world we live in.  What we accept as the truth, either self-proclaimed or told to us by others and how we choose to define our very existence. We actually live in a world of anything is possible, nothing is real and all you have to do is choose how you want your human experience to be.  Is this really possible?  ABSOLUTELY!  Is it easy? ABSOLUTELY NOT!  If you are not living the life you want to be living and you are ready to change this, then it’s time for to get to work!  I am here to work through this with you, to take back your personal power and create your life as you wish it to be.

Let’s try a little experiment here to find out what you actually believe. I’d like you to read the quote below then hear the voice in your head.

“Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.” ― Oprah Winfrey

What did you hear it say?  Write down what you heard so we can refer back to it later. Did you say “that’s not true” or “I agree with this statement”? Or did anything else pop into your thoughts about it?

Now take a look at this image, what do you see?

Do you see the beauty of nature or emptiness?  Did it stir an emotion within you of excitement? Loneliness? Calm? Peacefulness? or nothing at all?  Record your thoughts and emotions as they appear to you.

Your initial thoughts and feelings are clues to what you truly believe on a subconscious level and these thoughts and feelings may or may not be in alignment with what you consciously believe.  If this is the case, this is where we begin to look for the limiting beliefs that are stopping you from living your life as it was meant to be lived.  The first step to removing a limiting belief is to discover it’s existence, then, create a new (positive) statement that is meaningful to you and download it into your sub-conscious replacing the negative one that has stopped you in the past.  There are a few techniques you can use to do this successfully and effectively and choosing one that works for you is the key.  Over the years I have tried many with some being more effective than others.  The one that has worked the best for me is called Psych-K created by Rob Williams (google is your friend here).  I’ve taken the basic and advanced training so I can do more for myself and others find peace, happiness and joy in life.

If any of this resonates with you and you would like to learn more about this subject or how you can work with me, please use the contact form provided below.

 

Happiness is: living my life as it was meant to be lived and by my design!

 

 

 

 

 

Oh my goodness, it is true…!


It is true! After many years of feeling “broken” and looking for ways to “fix” my life, I have finally found a piece of the puzzle that was missing for me in my quest to “fix” what I thought was wrong.  It turns out there is nothing wrong, nothing to fix and I’m not broken. I just need to adjust my perspective on life.

My studies regarding perspective or limiting beliefs (Biology of Beliefs written by Dr Bruce Lipton goes into great detail on this subject) has given me a new understanding of my habitual ways of being and how to change those habits that no longer work for me.  The exploration of the limiting beliefs that had me going through life repeating scenarios (have you ever said: “Damn it, I have been here before!” a reoccurring statement for me) is very revealing and enlightening at the same time.  The following is my understanding of where my beliefs were formed and the reformation of those beliefs from limiting to empowering using a technique called Psych-K.

Being Invisible

Limiting Belief #1 – “I am invisible” (a derivative of I’m not worthy)

Empowering Belief #1 – “I am seen for who I am today”

It hasn’t always been this way, looking back on my life I realize I had no idea that I was invisible. I was (still am) an outgoing adult, I am very social, an active volunteer in my community, someone others come to share their challenges in life.  People see me as a mother, wife, an entrepreneurial woman in the community but mostly, people have trouble recalling my name or they called me by some other name.  I wouldn’t correct them because I didn’t want to embarrass them and really it wasn’t a big deal, or so I thought at the time.  I recently became aware of how most things in my life are “no big deal” and I’m now realizing how that way of being, throughout life, was a significant indication of my invisibleness.

I was five years old when I became invisible, my story is not unlike many children of my age and I suspect there are many people wandering through their lives unaware that they are invisible just like I had.  What happened was my parent separated and the one person who saw me, my dad, left our family.  At the tender age of five I had been abandoned, my world, as I knew it, collapsed and I became invisible in my family.  No-one knew and the worst part is, because I wasn’t aware, I was to spend the next 50 years of my life living as an invisible person.

How could this happen and what was my evidence to support this thought?  First of all, let me clarify that I had not been abandoned as a child in the way we see abandonment.  Yes, my parents separated and for a very short time, I did see my dad on occasion.  I lived with my mother and five brothers until the age of seven when my mother remarried and introduced me to three more brothers and one sister.  My mother loved me and my stepfather did all that he could to provide for what we needed.  I had all my basic needs covered including a roof over my head, clothes on my body and food in my stomach.  I wasn’t a deprived child but I was a lonely child and I was a lost child in the group.  You can imagine how difficult it would have been to stand out in a family of 12.  Imagine how difficult it would have been to be the parents of 10 kids?  When you live life day to day in survival mode you can imagine that love and nurture were not part of our daily routine.  I don’t tell you this to gain your sympathy, I share this to give you insight into how I lived my life as an invisible child. being invisible

Don’t get me wrong I love my family and I know my family loves me because to this day I know if I was in need they would be there for me in a heartbeat.  What was missing in my life was the day to day show of affection and unconditional love that we all want in our lives and the result of what was missing in my life was more evidence of me being invisible.

 

I had plenty of evidence as a teenager but then, that is the time in our lives that I think most of us want to disappear.  Being invisible as a teenager worked for me.  As a teenager, I floated through life relatively unnoticed and without too many life-altering moments, in fact, I would say my teenage years were fairly uneventful and boring.  When I became a wife and mother I had many responsibilities and very little time to think about anything other than everyone else’s needs.  Like most Mothers, my time was not my own but consumed with daily tasks that made time pass very quickly.  Being invisible as a young mother was hard and welcomed at the same time.  It wasn’t until I wanted to follow my dreams, find my passion and purpose in life did this become a problem for me.  Every time I thought I found what I was looking for ‘something’ kept holding me back and I would go through many years of disappointment and frustration because I just couldn’t figure out what that ‘something’ was!

By using the Psych-K techniques I am reforming the beliefs I have habitually lived with all these years, quickly and effectively and creating the life I want now.

Lisa Johnston-Williams

Lisa Johnston has been experiencing life and exploring ways of being that gives new meaning to “Living life powerfully every day with passion and pleasure”. Her services are non-medical in nature and now include Psych-K techniques for life-changing results.

Return to Empowerment


Red Rover, red rover, come on over!  The image is a portrait of NASA’s Mars Rover, “Opportunity”  who has been roaming the surface of Mars since January 25, 2004. A man made machine created to explore the surface of Mars in search of water or evidence of water for the purpose of supporting future generations of human beings. 

“Opportunity” has a number of features that are quite human-like, such as sight, taste and touch.  It (genderless) can hear and carries out orders or commands of which it then relays to the team of NASA professionals back on Earth.  Once the information is received and translated into words and images, the team gets to experience life on Mars as it is right now!  Like a human being, Opportunity is operating via its sub-conscious mind, carrying out tasks provided by its conscious mind (the human at the controls in NASA) and providing real-time experiences for us all to see (watch NASA videos here).  The scientific community has proven without a doubt that we, as humans, operate 95% from our sub-conscious mind (rover)  and only 5% from our conscious mind (spirit or command centre).  What does this all mean?  That essentially many of us are going through life asleep at the wheel and it’s time to wake up and be the driver!

” We are spiritual beings having a human experience”

We are Earth Rovers and we have chosen to roam the Earth, experience life here and report our experiences back to our spiritual being!  Sounds crazy, doesn’t it?

If you haven’t heard of these sciences: Epigenetics, Fractal Science, Quantum Physics or Mechanics, you will be challenged to follow this conversation. Not only are these sciences challenging all that we have been led to believe for centuries, they are answering the age-old questions “where did we come from” and “why are we here” in ways that actually make sense.  You can find out more about Epigenetics from Dr Bruce Lipton’s book “The Biology of Belief” where he introduces us to the ‘Rover’ concept of human beings. Consider for a moment, the possibility, that we are actually spirit beings in human bodies here on Earth to experience life?  What if this is true??? That would mean our bodies are nothing more than vehicles created for the purpose of collecting data (sight, touch, hear, taste) and reporting back to our spirit where ever it may be in the universe?  I know what you are thinking, she is completely off her rocker with this!  Am I really?  Humour me for a few minutes more…

If this is true then life just got a whole lot more exciting!  As a spiritual being roving the Earth I am free to choose my experiences! If I don’t like what I’m experiencing now then it’s my choice to change it!  Okay, this isn’t a new idea, it’s been talked about for many years. I have been aware of this since 2012 and it seems that knowing this hasn’t made a difference. (as revealed in previous posts)  You know what they say, “Life is in the journey!”.

Consider that what stands between (me) you and (my) your life desires is not:

  • other people
  • money
  • time
  • abilities
  • location

It may appear that these are the barriers and I assure you, they are not. No, the real barrier is (my) your perception or belief of those things and (I) you are in a position to change these anytime you want.

 “We are all living in cages with the door wide open” George Lucas
 The question is why?  If we are free to leave our caged lives why don’t we flee?  From what I’ve learned so far, the answer is because we didn’t know we could, we didn’t know how and for some of us, what we have done in the past didn’t work so we gave up.   Until now.
Now, we have knowledge (new science discoveries), new techniques & tools and new awareness. It’s time to break through the barriers that have held us back for so many years.
While on my life journey I have discovered the most effective tool to date called “Psych-K” and now I have the ability to assist others looking to reform their limiting beliefs or perceptions. In other words, get out of our cages an on to living our life’s wishes and desires.  Sounds too good to be true?  Nope, just changing the perception of what’s possible.

Giant Leaps From Little Steps


I have been known to say “knowing doesn’t make a difference” when talking about what to do when making changes in my life.  For example, I would say “I want to lose weight”, I know there are a billizion ways to lose weight and I’m not using any of them!  Every day someone is sharing their weight loss method that worked for them and if I used it I would lose weight too!  Yes, I believe this is true and knowing doesn’t make a difference!  I could lose the weight (I don’t have any medical reason why I can’t) and I choose not too.  Why? Because there is something else at play here that lives deep within my sub-conscious that stops me and I am on a quest to find it. Anytime I feel blocked or held back in my life the culprit is a limiting belief I hold in my sub-conscious mind.

Look familiar?

When you consider that we have more than 20,000 thoughts coursing through our brains every minute and that we are unaware of most of them, it’s possible there are thoughts/beliefs among them that are mucking up our lives.  As I read the “The Biology of Belief” by Dr Bruce Lipton I am more aware of these beliefs and how they influence my actions and inactions.

Knowing THIS does make a difference!

I now have the piece of life’s puzzle that I was missing!  Now I have what I need to change the list of beliefs I have been listening to most of my life, rewriting them in a way that empowers me.  Is it possible to change the words in my belief statements and create a new believable belief statement?  Could it be this simple?  The answer is YES and it’s highly effective when you combine the knowledge shared by Dr Lipton and the PSYCH-K process created by Rob Williams.

Here is a list of limiting beliefs I identified for myself in a previous post.  I will use them to show the transformational process I have gone through to eliminate these from my thoughts completely.  I mean completely!  I look at these statements and I no longer have any feelings about them, you have to understand, these words would cause tears to well up in my eyes just reading them and now, nothing at all!  I don’t believe them anymore and all it took is putting each one through the PSYCH-K process!  I was able to completely transform this list within an hour using the technique of identifying, rewriting, balancing and muscle testing to confirm the results.  Here’s the step by step process I went through:

  1. Identify limiting belief as I believe it to be
  2. Reword the belief into a positive statement using the following criteria (provided by Rob Williams) state in first person (I), use present tense (now, not later), use positive language, keep it short and emotionally meaningful to you
  3. Muscle test the statement, balance and lock it in place (there is a whole technique within here that is best done with someone who has taken the course or take the course yourself if you want to do on your own)

It sounds simple, doesn’t it?  It was and it wasn’t without its challenging parts.  I was challenged to reword these belief statements using the criteria.  I found myself using words like I wish, I want, will, none of which are present tense.  I also found my statements were too long and when I read them, they sounded good but I wasn’t really connected to them.  This was the longest part of the process for me and I believe it will get easier the more I practice.  For those of you reading this and may have these particular beliefs yourself, here are the words I used to rewrite them into empowering beliefs for myself.  Feel free to use them if they resonate with you too.

  • Original belief: I believe that when I ask for help no-one will be there for me
  • New belief: I feel love and support from others like a warm blanket on a cold day
  • Original belief: I believe that no matter what I do things will never change for me
  • New belief: Every step I take changes my view of life
  • Original belief: I believe that happiness is possible I just don’t know what will make me happy
  • New belief: I recognize happy moments in my life every day, both big and small
  • Old belief: I believe, despite multiple attempts to change it,  I am not where I want to be and I will never get there
  • New belief: I am exactly where I need to be and anywhere I want to go is reachable from here

When I read these words a smile has replaced the tears and the peacefulness I feel inside confirms the transformation for me.

It takes little steps to transform your limiting beliefs and the promise of giant leaps is real. Yes, it is that simple and it can be for you too.

What limiting beliefs hold you back in your life?

Permission to Take Time… again!


I originally wrote this piece back in 2014, updated it again in 2015 and re-read it recently only to find that I’m not following my own advice here!  I am hearing myself say “I don’t have time for (you name it I’ve said it).  My first reaction was to start chastising myself for not practicing what I preach and then it occurred to me that perhaps there was a better way to bring this back into my daily awareness!  When I look back I can see there were times I put this into practice and what my process was to do that.  Looking closer at that process I started to see the steps I took to shift my way of being and get back on track with what’s important to me.

What is important to me?

To live my life everyday with joy, to love my friends and family unconditionally and to work with passion and purpose making a difference for others.  

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I can see that I am not always in alignment with these words and I need a reset moment to get me back on track!  A reset moment?  What does that look like?  It’s a moment where I take a time out, step back to have a better overall view of where I am right now, review my priorities, make changes as needed and get back into the game with an action plan in hand!   This is not a one-time only exercise and realizing this fact has made it possible for me to get back on track faster and stay longer.

What would you change in your life if you had a transformational reset moment when you felt off track?  Perhaps some of these examples are areas for reset in your life:

reconnect  with people in your life you have lost touch with

refocus your attention at work or home to bring back the pleasure in those areas

reset your goals in life because the path you are on isn’t working for you

rejuvenate your appreciation for who you are in the world (this may also be a new awareness for you)
restart your passion for living, just like when you were a child, remember those days?
re-activate your love for your job, if you didn’t have this in the beginning then a reset is mandatory!
rediscover the pleasures of life because life is meant to be enjoyed and lived fully!
I am now in the process of creating the process of a reset moment and my goal is to have something tangible that I can share with others who find themselves in the same place.  If you feel that you are not on track with what’s important to you and you want the opportunity to reset, you will want to stay connected with me in this conversation.  Use the comment space below or subscribe to my blog to stay in this conversation.
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Here is the original post I wrote back in 2014, I would love to hear your comments about this or anything in this post that resonates with you.

It sounds funny to ask for permission to take time and that’s exactly what you must do when you are creating moments in your life.  We have all said, at some point in our lives, “I can’t afford to take the time” and “I should be doing something else, not wasting time doing this”.   We often do not give ourselves permission to be in the moment doing things that we like to do and it is impossible to be in the moment without it. 

I started this conversation talking about creating time and being in the moment.  This post is part of that conversation because giving yourself permission to use your newly created time is a key element along with being in the moment and commitment to clarity. Giving yourself permission takes awareness and practice AND, so I have discovered, it is quite rewarding when you do.  What kind of rewards can you expect?  It varies, from tangible rewards like lovely gifts and intangible rewards like kind and thoughtful words shared by others.

Often we use one of many excuses as to why we don’t have time.

“I have too many things to do right now, I’ll do it later”

“If I stop now I’ll never catch up”

“I’ll have plenty of time to do (stuff) when I’m older (retired)”

Which one have do you use?  We typically make the mistake thinking our time is not our own when actually, it is.  Yes, we have our commitments, responsibilities, expectations and it’s up to us make time for these and what we want in life.   I know, I know, easier said than done, I agree and I still say it’s possible when you make a commitment to yourself to follow through with what ever it takes to make it happen.  It starts with…

Giving yourself permission to take the time AND believing that it is possible.

From this point on every step forward is a good one whether it’s a giant leap or a baby step.  The question is “what would you be doing right now if you had the time?”  Pick something and make  commitment to yourself to do it.  If you can’t do it right now, pick a day and time within the next 7 days to just do it!  Make it happen!  I would love to hear how it went for you and what your experience was if you are game to share.

tomorrow today yesterday

It’s your time, take it!

Lisa

 

 

 

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