For centuries we have been taught that death is something to be feared, it is the darkness, the end, the final curtain of life and like everything else in life there are two contrasting sides. There are many cultures that belief in the light of death, meaning they see the illumination and without fear they understand that death is another stage of life. I think about death, not from a place of fear but from a place of curiosity, do we, as spiritual beings, really die? When we die is it really the end of our time here on Earth?
The deeper I dive into this subject the more I believe that the answer to those questions is no. As I listen to my heart I feel an inner knowing that we are infinite beings and our time on Earth is but a moment in our entire journey. Through the study of Epi-genetics, and the Quantum Sciences we have learned that all living things are made up of energy molecules and that energy is infinite. If we are infinite beings and we do live forever then it makes sense to me that the true essence of who we are never actually dies. It is for this reason I do not fear death and I experience the loss of the people I love differently than most. I can still see them when they are gone, I can still feel them after they pass and I can still hear them when they are near.
I used to think there was something wrong with me because I didn’t react to death like others. When I was younger I pretended to be deeply mournful to fit in so I didn’t stand out as different. As I got older I allowed my differences to show and I was seen as cold or unfeeling. The deeper I dive into this subject the more I realize that there is nothing wrong with me or my view, in fact, I find it enlightening, empowering and exciting! It is a gift that I have to share with others who are trapped within the pain and suffering on the dark side of death.
Forever Together
I am never alone as long as I have you in my heart,
I know you are with me when I hear your laugh,
I feel your love and support with every beat of my heart,
I see you in my memories as I reflect on our time together, you bring a smile to my face,
I am touched by your presence in every breath that I take and,
I am one with you for as long as I live, now and forever.
I feel sadness when I hear of someone passing and then my mind goes straight to celebration! Within my experience of death I celebrate who they were while they were living among us and I let them know that they still matter. It is the only way I know how to be when it comes to dealing with this loss.
In my world I live among the living, both those who are physically here and those who are not. What I have come to understand is once I adjusted the way I relate, I am free to experience both without deep despair or the painful feeling of loss and for this I am grateful. My heart is full of love from those who no longer walk this Earth but are still present in another form.
For those of you who feel stuck under the weight of losing loved ones I am happy to share my process with you so you too can enjoy the light side of death. Knowing that those who have passed are always with you, gives you the freedom to live without the burden of loss. When you are ready to be free reach out with this contact form. I am here to share this gift.
I have been known to say “knowing doesn’t make a difference” when talking about what to do when making changes in my life. For example, I would say “I want to lose weight”, I know there are countless ways to lose weight and I’m not using any of them! It feels like every day that someone is sharing their weight loss method that worked for them and if I used it I would lose weight too! Yes, I believe this is true and knowing doesn’t make a difference!
I could lose weight (I don’t have any medical reasons why I can’t) and I choose not too. Why? Because there is something else at play here that lives deep within my sub-conscious that stops me and until I find it nothing will work. Anytime I feel blocked or held back in my life the culprit is a limiting belief I hold in my sub-conscious mind.
When you consider that we have thousands of thoughts coursing through our brains every minute and the challenging part is we are unaware of most of them. Is it possible that there are limiting beliefs among those thoughts that are mucking up our lives? As I read the “The Biology of Belief” by Dr. Bruce Lipton I have learned more about the existence of these beliefs and how they influence my actions and inactions.
Knowing this DOES make a difference!
Eureka, I have found a piece of life’s puzzle that was missing! Now I have what I need to change the list of beliefs I have been listening to most of my life, rewriting them in a way that empowers me. Is it possible to change the words in my belief statements and create new believable belief statements? Could it be this simple? The answer is YES and it’s highly effective when you go through the steps I am sharing here.
It starts with identifying the hidden belief statements by looking at your feelings and actions in a specific situation. For example, when I looked at my current financial situation I focussed on how I felt about it, how I viewed money, how I saw other people with money, how I handled money, etc. What emerged were very loud, very negative thoughts and feelings I had about money. Up till now, I wasn’t aware of most of those thoughts and feelings and for the few, I was aware of, I didn’t see them as controlling my life! This was a total eye-opener for me!
What is so cool is, I use this process in all areas of my life where I have felt stuck, stopped, and out of ways to change.
Here is the step by step process I went through:
I identified the limiting belief as I believed it to be (the negative statement I heard in my mind)
I reworded the old belief statement into a positive one using the following criteria: state in the first person (I), use present tense (now, not future), using positive language and keeping it short and finally, make it emotionally meaningful to me (resonating)
I effectively use these statements in meditation, emotional freedom technique and written form to remind myself that they are my truth.
It sounds simple, doesn’t it? I can assure you it wasn’t and each time I go through this process I can honestly say it is so worth the discomfort of converting old into new! When I was writing my original belief statements I was taken back as the words I wrote would cause tears to well up in my eyes. The feelings were so raw and right there! I was literally writing and crying at the same time and struggling through the process. I had a flashback of specific moments in my life that were painful and confirmed why I believed these statements. I have to say I learn a few valuable lessons while going through this experience 1. the pain of living with these statements far outweighed the pain I was feeling at the moment and 2. I didn’t die going through this exercise.
I was challenged to reword these belief statements using the criteria. I found myself using words like I wish, I want, I will, none of which are present tense. I also found my statements were too long and when I read them, they sounded good but I wasn’t really connected to them. What’s really amazing to me is the completeness of all the work I went through in this process. Now, I can look at these statements and I no longer have any feelings about them. I have come back to this post on many occasions to test the process and when I read these statements it’s like they didn’t mean anything to me. I am so grateful for the tools I have learned and as new limiting beliefs expose themselves to me I put myself through this exercise with them too.
Here is a list of limiting beliefs I identified for myself, as you read this you may find yourself resonating with these particular beliefs too. Feel free to use them if you do.
Original belief: I believe that when I ask for help no-one will be there for me
New belief: I feel love and support from others like a warm blanket on a cold day
Original belief: I believe that no matter what I do things will never change for me
New belief: Every step I take changes my view of life
Original belief: I believe that happiness is possible I just don’t know what will make me happy
New belief: I recognize happy moments in my life every day, both big and small
Old belief: I believe, despite multiple attempts to change it, I am not where I want to be and I will never get there
New belief: I am exactly where I need to be and anywhere I want to go is reachable from here
When I read these words a smile has replaced the tears and the peacefulness I feel inside confirms the transformation for me. It takes little steps to transform your limiting beliefs and the promise of giant leaps is real. Yes, it does work and it can work for you too when you are ready. If you need help formulating your statements, feel free to contact me for help.
Trash talk happens. Â When it does, do you listen or put it in its place?
Are you aware of your “trash talk?” Â Not sure? Â I can tell you it comes from that little voice in your head that just said “what is she talking about? and I don’t hear voices in my head!” Â Yes, that little voice. Â If you have spent any time listening to that voice chances are you have heard a lot of trash talk. Â You are not alone in this experience and it’s an epidemic in our society. Â It is safe to say the source of our insecurities, lack of confidence and diminished view of self-worth is fuelled by trash talk and it’s time to take out the trash for good!
There is an imaginary muscle in our thoughts that, when exercised, can toss the trash when you use it, of course, and like any muscle regular exercise is needed. Â Staying toned is vital to keeping the trash at a manageable level and in check at all times. Â Two things that are important to understand, 1. you will never rid yourself of trash talk completely and 2. you CAN keep it at a minimum so it’s not running your life.
When it comes to any new exercise regime it’s vital to take note of where you are right now and to have a goal in mind that you are reaching for. Â What happens between those two points requires consistent practice through focus, commitment, and disciplined determination. Â I have a quote that I use as a tagline in my emails that says:
“discipline is simply choosing between what I want right now and what I want most”
I read it every time I send an email as a reminder of what I want most in my life. Â What quote are you using to remind yourself of what’s important to you? Â Find a quote that resonates with you and use it!
Now that you are aware of your trash talk, what kind of things are you hearing?  Do you catch yourself agreeing with your little voice?  Are you as horrible as your little voice says?  What we say to ourselves is horrendous and what’s really amazing is we would never allow others to say these things to us so why do we allow ourselves?  Think about it?  If someone told you that you were a loser, you will never amount to anything in your life, you are not good enough or pretty enough or you certainly don’t deserve to be happy.  You would likely give them a full fisted sandwich in the kisser!  So why do we listen to the little voice?
There was a time in our history, billions of years ago that little voice came in handy, it was the voice of reason when human beings roamed the earth in search of food and shelter.  It was every man (woman) for themselves and definitely, an animal eats animal world out there.  Wait a minute!  It sounds like nothing has changed in a billion years!!!  Our little voice is a vital part of our survival in this world and unfortunately, it doesn’t know when to shut up and keep its opinions to itself. Kidding aside that little voice has saved your life at some point and for that, you can be grateful.  The downside of having our little voice in our heads is when it goes into a negative mode and constantly bombards you with thoughts that are hurtful and damaging under the disguise of trying to keep you safe. Unfortunately, it doesn’t always pick the right things to keep you safe from and this is where you need to take charge.
Most people think that life happens to them, what they don’t realize is that we are capable of creating our lives. Â Not only capable but responsible! Â What is so magical at this point is when we take responsibility for the creation of our lives we also gain the power to create life any way that we want.
What do you want?
Do you have any idea of what you truly want in your life? Â Most of us say “yes” but stop and think about the question and most of you will be completely blank. Â I know because I have gone through this exercise myself and I go through it with my clients. I still haven’t met anyone who could clearly answer the question. Â Why not? Â Well, it all comes back to that pesky little voice and the trash it’s been sharing with us over the years. Â Nasty!
The bottom line is, manage the little voice, have it work for you rather than against you and you can have whatever your little heart desires.
I originally wrote this piece back in 2014, updated it again in 2015, and re-read it recently only to find that I’m not following my own advice here! Â I am hearing myself say “I don’t have time for (you name it I’ve said it). Â My first reaction was to start chastising myself for not practicing what I preach and then it occurred to me that perhaps there was a better way to bring this back into my daily awareness! Â When I look back I can see there were times I put this into practice and what my process was to do that. Â Looking closer at that process I started to see the steps I took to shift my way of being and get back on track with what’s important to me.
What is important to me?
To live my life every day with joy, to love my friends and family unconditionally, and to work with passion and purpose making a difference for others. Â
I can see that I am not always in alignment with these words and IÂ need a reset moment to get me back on track! Â A reset moment? Â What does that look like? Â It’s a moment where I take a time out, step back to have a better overall view of where I am right now, review my priorities, make changes as needed and get back into the game with an action plan in hand! Â This is not a one-time-only exercise and realizing this fact has made it possible for me to get back on track faster and stay longer.
What would you change in your life if you had a transformational reset moment when you felt off track? Â Perhaps some of these examples are areas for a reset in your life:
reconnect with people in your life you have lost touch with
refocus your attention at work or home to bring back the pleasure in those areas
reset your goals in life because the path you are on isn’t working for you
rejuvenate your appreciation for who you are in the world (this may also be a new awareness for you)
restart your passion for living, just like when you were a child, remember those days?
re-activate your love for your job, if you didn’t have this in the beginning then a reset is mandatory!
rediscover the pleasures of life because life is meant to be enjoyed and lived fully!
I am now in the process of creating the process of a reset moment and my goal is to have something tangible that I can share with others who find themselves in the same place. Â If you feel that you are not on track with what’s important to you and you want the opportunity to reset, you will want to stay connected with me in this conversation. Â Use the comment space below or subscribe to my blog to stay in this conversation.
Here is the original post I wrote back in 2014, I would love to hear your comments about this or anything in this post that resonates with you.
It sounds funny to ask for permission to take time and that’s exactly what you must do when you are creating moments in your life. Â We have all said, at some point in our lives, “I can’t afford to take the time” and “I should be doing something else, not wasting time doing this”. Â We often do not give ourselves permission to be in the moment doing things that we like to do and it is impossible to be in the moment without it.Â
I started this conversation talking about creating time and being in the moment. Â This post is part of that conversation because giving yourself permission to use your newly created time is a key element along with being in the moment and commitment to clarity. Giving yourself permission takes awareness and practice AND, so I have discovered, it is quite rewarding when you do. Â What kind of rewards can you expect? Â It varies, from tangible rewards like lovely gifts and intangible rewards like kind and thoughtful words shared by others.
Often we use one of many excuses as to why we don’t have time.
“I have too many things to do right now, I’ll do it later”
“If I stop now I’ll never catch up”
“I’ll have plenty of time to do (stuff) when I’m older (retired)”
Which one have do you use? Â We typically make the mistake of thinking our time is not our own when actually, it is. Â Yes, we have our commitments, responsibilities, expectations and it’s up to us to make time for these and what we want in life. Â I know, I know, easier said than done, I agree and I still say it’s possible when you make a commitment to yourself to follow through with whatever it takes to make it happen. Â It starts with…
Giving yourself permission to take the time AND believing that it is possible.
From this point on every step forward is a good one whether it’s a giant leap or a baby step. Â The question is “what would you be doing right now if you had the time?” Â Pick something and make a commitment to yourself to do it. Â If you can’t do it right now, pick a day and time within the next 7 days to just do it! Â Make it happen! Â I would love to hear how it went for you and what your experience was if you are game to share.
Have you ever heard someone say “I don’t have time?” Of course you have and I expect it’s something you have said yourself many times throughout your life, most of us have. “I don’t have time! Is this really true? Is it possible to change time, create time or make time?
I had the pleasure of spending time with a lovely group of women the other night and one conversation in particular stood out for me. One of the younger women was sharing that she didn’t have time to do the things she wanted to do and I could see she was quite stressed about it. Listening to her share make me think about the whole concept of time and how our lives are so wrapped up in it.
Someone once said to me that “time doesn’t exist anywhere else but in our minds and only humans use time as a measure”. I laughed and replied, “what do you mean time doesn’t exist? Of course it does and it’s finite!” There are 24 hours in a day, 8 hours in a work day (for some) and an hour has a maximum of 60 minutes! I am most aware of time when I have more things to do than the time to do them. You know what I mean? So you can’t tell me that time doesn’t exist!!!
Funny though, when I started thinking about it and allowed this concept to linger on my mind I noticed a shift in my perception of time. I noticed that, on occasion, time appeared to stop and at times felt like it slowed down, almost like a rubber band, it seemed like it stretched at opportune and inopportune times. How was this possible? I wanted to know more.
I set aside my biased opinion about time and allowed myself to consider that time really didn’t exist outside of my mind. I imagined my day without using the concept of time and an amazing thing happened. Time disappeared. Literally, it disappeared and I was amazed at how much I was able to accomplish that day. Not only did I get a lot done, I was able to truly enjoy all that I did and I marvelled how I felt when I was done. Reflecting back on the day I could see how, by removing the concept of time, my day was full and fulfilling at the same time without stress and anxiety. As a result of this experiment I have become a believer that time is a concept and that we do have the ability to exist without it any time we wish. I have adopted the thought that “I am the creator of my time and I am not longer controlled by time itself.” Could you imagine what this would look like on a daily basis?
Utter chaos I would suspect. Time was created for the purpose of controlling people. Think about it. Who would show up, on time, for work? For appointments? For play dates and coffee? Imagine if time hadn’t been created, how would we manage to function? Quite differently I would venture and without the mountain of issues we have today. Go back to a time when time wasn’t measure as it is today, back to prehistoric times when time was measure differently.
I’m not an expert on prehistoric times and I understand is that period of time was measure by seasons and daylight. Cavemen and women got up with the light, went to sleep when it was dark, planted crops when the ground thawed and harvested before the ground froze again. I imagine life was much harder and much simpler without all the modern conveniences we enjoy today and I bet they didn’t sit around the fire exclaiming that they “didn’t have time”, nor were they stressed about all the things that they had to do. They were too busy doing rather than talking about it. I understand that their thoughts and thought processes were quite simple compared to the modern man and woman of today. Back then I expect their thoughts consisted of “eat or be eaten, find shelter and keep warm”. The simplicity of their time, I would suspect, allowed time to move much slower than the pace we experience today.
Fast forward to today. It wouldn’t be realistic to think we can live without time all the time and I believe we can alter our perception of time when we know how and when it suits our needs. The secret is in the knowing and I will share what I know so you too can make time for the things you want in your life.
There are a few key elements required to successfully alter time one of which is being fully present in the moment. Although challenging being present in the moment is a learned skills that requires ongoing practice to master. The good news is once learned this skill will enhance other areas of your life as well. What do I mean by “being present in the moment?”
Simply put it means to be fully focused or aware of everything around you in any given moment without conscious thought about anything else from the past or in the future. Take a moment to be aware of your surrounding right now as you read this and note everything that you have not either noticed or paid attention to because you were thinking about what you did yesterday/last week or what you need to do later/tomorrow etc.
Take a moment to really acknowledge your present surroundings including visual objects, sounds, smells, how your body feels and the thoughts in your head. A simple exercise of thanking each item you acknowledge as you become aware of them is a great way to keep your focus in the moment rather than wandering back to past or present thoughts. If you find your thoughts wandering (as they do in all of us) gently direct them back to the exercise at hand. What I do when I find my thoughts wandering is to say (silently) “thank you for sharing and right now I am being present in the moment”. Sometimes I have to repeat this many times to get back to the exercise and that’s okay, it normal and part of the process of learning and strengthening this skill.
At this very moment, as I do this exercise myself, this is what I am experiencing. I can hear the ticking of a clock and I am grateful for the consistent sound of each tick. I can hear a consistent hum or vibration, I believe coming from within me, that I wasn’t aware of before and I am grateful for the opportunity to hear it. In the distance I can hear the occasional vehicle passing nearby on the highway, airplane flying and I am grateful for the times that I live in that allow for this type of transportation. Visually I am surrounded by the warmth of wood in the cabin where I am sitting and I’m grateful for all this cabin has to offer me including warmth, protection from the elements, security and comfort. I am aware of the things within my sight including a soft light, comfortable couches and modern furniture I am grateful to have in my life. I am present to the colours of things in my space, I have surrounded myself with earth tones of greens/browns/black/red/orange and natural tones. I am grateful for the soothing feelings I have when I’m in this space. In this moment I am thinking of nothing else but what I have just described and for a brief moment the rest of the world did not exist. While in this exercise I was not aware of time at all or anything else outside of what I just shared. Interestingly enough while focussing on everything around me I didn’t hear the sound of typing on my computer, so technically, I left one sound out of being in the moment. 🙂
I encourage you to practice this skill as often as you can to help you build your muscles. Literally, take a minute or 10 to fit this exercise into your day and begin to create the time you need to do the things you want. I promise you will feel timeless joy from this exercise. Being in the moment is one element of managing time, the other elements are: clear intentions (knowing what you want), permission (giving yourself permission to experience) and discipline to name a few. I will talk about each of these in future posts and show you how you can create time to have what you want in your life.
To live your life as you choose and to have the time to enjoy it is my wish for you. Â If you have an experience you would like to share or you would like to hear more, please feel free to contact me.
Personal Touch Best Solutions 