This is, without question, the foundation of everything I have learned to date. Without this piece I find myself deep in the muck of life over and over and over again. It has taken me years to assimilate this statement into my being and it’s only been within the past 6 months that I truly live by these words, 99.9% of the time. I have noticed that I’m no longer struggling with lack and when lack does appear in my thoughts I automatically counter it with “I trust that everything happens exactly the way it should for my higher good”. I trust that the Universe/Divine/higher-self has my back and always wants the best for me, even when it doesn’t feel like it at the time. In the past, I had wanted something so bad that I could taste it and when it didn’t materialize I was heart broken and disappointed that the powers that be didn’t deliver. Then when I take a moment to look back at all those disappointing moments I can see that they were not in my best interest and I would have missed out on the moments that have been.
It’s so hard to help others see this wisdom and even though a part of me wants to I also understand that others are on their path too which includes disappointment, struggle, lack and higher good reflection. Does this mean that I should stand aside and let others suffer? Not at all! When people come to me with their challenges it is my purpose in life to assist in any way that I can because when I do it feels right for me and for them. One of my most cherished rewards is watching someone get a piece of their own puzzle and I get to see their light shining brighter because of something I said or did. The warm glow I feel when I get to contribute to their higher good and to the higher good of humanity in whole. There comes a point in our life that we have to just trust the statement rather than constantly looking for proof and it’s when I got this fully, I experienced a feeling of freedom I didn’t know was possible!
I trust that everything happens exactly as it should for my higher good and for the higher good of humanity. Not by my definition but by how it feels inside, my inner knowing hums at a frequency that sounds like nothing I can describe with words, just feeling. One thing I can put into words is the profound impact these special moments have on my life. Equisite, delicious, delightful experiences, each and every one of them that cause me to want to do more.
Of course I am, I say these words to myself all the time! I AM worthy of the best that love and life have to offer! Right? Saying this statement in a Psych-K session revealed otherwise and it was the first time I experienced the difference between what I thought was true and the truth I was unaware of. How is this possible and what the heck is Psych-K?
Psych-K is a relatively young healing system created by Robert Williams back in 1987. This modality works at a sub-conscious level as a truth revealing and balancing tool used to identify and effectively rewrite limiting beliefs into empowering ones. A long statement that means your inner truth, no matter what you say is revealed, using muscle testing techniques, to confirm your truth. It’s your personal lie-detector used to expose areas in your life that you may want to pay attention to. The good thing is this tool works for you not against you because it reveals the source of those pesky bad habits that block and helps you re-frame limiting beliefs driving those habits.
I learned about Psych-K in a book that I was reading, back in 2016, called “Biology of Belief” by Dr. Bruce Lipton. He talked about this modality and his experiences with it. I was intrigued, something in here spoke to my inner knowing and I stepped onto the path of learning more. I found out that Psych-K was indeed a healing modality and workshops to learn how to use it was available in my area. I signed up for the basic course and experienced my first of many mind-blown moments.
It was my turn to work with the instructor, Sandra Wallin, in the front of the group. We went through the setup procedure to establish connection between us and to recognize how I responded to positive and negative responses. We both clearly understood the different responses and then we began, it was like this.
Sandra: “Do you believe that you are worthy?” “Of course!” I said, with a big smile on my face, this was something I had done a lot of healing work around.
Sandra: “Let’s test this statement to confirm it as your truth”. “No problem” I replied. I felt confident in my answer because I’ve been working on healing my self-worth for a while now and I believed I’ve mastered this one.
Sandra: “Repeat this statement out loud and we will muscle test for clarity, I am worthy of the best that love and life have to offer.” Immediately after repeating the statement out loud, the muscle test indicated this was not true! Not true? How could this be? I had done so much work around healing my issues with self-worth! Sandra could see my dis-belief so we did the test again slightly changing the statement to “I am not worthy…” and the results confirmed that this was the statement I truly believed. I was dumbfounded. She asked me if I would like to transform that believe statement into a positive truth and I said “absolutely!”. We went through the balance procedure for re-writing the dis-empowering belief statement into an em-powering one and locked it into my sub-conscious mind and proceeded to muscle test the original statement again. This time the results were reversed and I was introduced to the difference between conscious and sub-conscious minds.
I had no idea they were not one and the same and I certainly had no idea they didn’t work the same! I also learned that day that I wanted to learn more about this modality so I signed up and completed the Advanced course in January 2018 and added this life-changing tool to my growing tool chest.
Today, three years later I still use this tool, combined with a few others I’ve collected along the way, to help others find their self-worth too. I truly believe that we are all worthy of the best that love and life have to offer and yes I muscle tested this statement to be sure that it’s my truth.
I remember the first time I intentionally looked into my own eyes (with the help of a full length mirror) and said, “I love you”.
I couldn’t do it.
It felt like a big lie.
I was so uncomfortable in my own skin.
This was an incredibly painful exercise.
This is also one of the most transformational exercises I’ve ever done to finally break my relationship with self-loathing. I share this exercise with every women I work with who battle low self-esteem and self-worth because self-love is the first step to defeating the hold these have in our lives. I invite you to try this exercise for yourself and watch your truthful reaction. It’s perfect how ever it shows up because it’s exactly where you are on this journey.
Stand naked in front of a full length mirror, take a moment to really look at every part of you. Notice how you look at yourself ~ with love or distain? Notice how you feel ~ are you comfortable or uncomfortable with what you see? Then look into your own eyes and say out loud, “I love you”. I bet you are in full discomfort at this point and that your eyes broke contact.
Find comfort in knowing that you are not alone in your experience of this, for myself and all the women I’ve shared this with I can say, we know how you feel. The good news is, it gets easier to do the more you practice and the day you can comfortably look without looking away is the day you can honestly say, “I love you, with all your flaws, smiles, tears, habits, everything, I just love you.
This is the day you connect with yourself in a way you’ve never imagined for yourself, and it’s the day you truly feel love as it was intended to be felt because you are worthy of it. It’s also really important to understand that self-love IS NOT the same as self-absorbed like our society would like us to believe! Looking back at my own relationship with self-love I can see why my self-worth, self-care and self-esteem were so low!
I remember my mother reminding me that it wasn’t nice to stare at myself in the mirror, it was vain or having girlfriends say “you think you are something special” like that was something bad. How many of us heard a parent say “stop thinking about yourself, stop being so selfish, it’s rude to care about yourself first”. I grew up in the era of being a good girl meant taking care of everyone else’s needs before your own. I am so glad we have evolved! Thank goodness we have re-discovered the importance of self-love and recognize that it’s vital to truly loving others!
The fact is loving yourself first is the doorway to truly loving others in a way that we were meant to feel love. I think RuPaul says it best and I quote: “If you can’t love yourself, how the hell can you love anyone else!” I love RuPaul, s-he says it with such clarity. I see self-love as filling my cup first and it over-flows nourishing others in the process. The more love I have for myself, the more love I have to give others and I can’t give what I don’t have.
Coincidence? Synchronicity? Divine Intervention? Or something else completely different? When I see a sign that resonates with me, I believe something else is at play here. The more I see, hear, and feel these signs, the more I feel connected to a long-forgotten way of being that gives me peace within my heart. When I look deeper into the experience of seeing signs, I am excited by what I’m learning about communication with others who have passed on, with others who are still present and the possibility of communicating with others in the future. I am talking about the people, past, present and future, who have touched my heart throughout my life.
It begins with the understanding that all living things are made up of energy, and energy is infinite. Therefore, the very essence of everything living is always present and forever in our energy field. Imagine the scope of this. For me, it evokes images of the Matrix, where everything is shown as binary code swirling like dust in a tornado and interwoven like the cloth of fine tapestry—I am in awe of life in its entirety. There are cultures around the world that see, hear, and feel the connections we have with all living things, and for those of us who have forgotten this part of ourselves, these cultures are our source of remembering.
As I awaken to the possibility of being connected as one with all, I am rewarded with the gift of seeing, hearing, and feeling the signs of my loved ones who have passed on. In my heart, I now know that they are always with me and that I can live my life without the pain of losing them physically. When I open myself up to the possibility of experiencing them differently, I am no longer mourning their death but enjoying their presence in a way that fills my heart with connectedness.
What some people see as coincidence or synchronicity, I see as messages from others who are thinking of me, including those on the other side of the veil. The divine intervention that others speak about is the result of my direct connection with my Higher Self, my ancestors, my loved ones no longer physically living on Earth, as well as my Guides, angels and spirits here to support me in the world. All I have to do is listen with my heart and keep my mind out of the conversation.
This is easier said than done when we are taught to dismiss anything we do not fully understand. Since the beginning of time, as human beings, we have evolved from being heart-centered to mind-centered, and this has brought massive chaos to our world. It’s time to go back to being heart-centred, to reconnect with all living beings as one. Many cultures around the world that still live by the ancient teachings understand this and are now being seen as our greatest teachers for bringing back this gift that is within us all. What does this have to do with the topic at hand? In my opinion, it is the source of seeing, hearing, and feeling our loved ones in a way that has eluded many of us for centuries. Are you ready to connect with your loved ones in a whole new way? Open your heart to the possibility and let go of the pain of loss forever.
See The Signs
They are everywhere! Anytime you think about your loved ones, they are there in the form of a memory. The same goes for when you see something that you identify with them, like a dragonfly, a butterfly, an eagle, a white feather, or a special saying, poem, or song. In our time of existence, we are so lucky to have the ability to preserve their likeness with photographs, and we can look at those photographs for years, bringing happiness to our hearts when we look at the people in the pictures. We see them in ourselves and our families, as their DNA lives within them as well. Seeing beyond the physical is the key to seeing them anytime that we want. Remembering the good times and sharing fun stories helps to elevate the feeling of missing their physical presence. Knowing that they are always with you brings a sense of peace to your heart.
Feel The Signs
They are all around us! That touch on your shoulder or the feeling like someone is watching you when no one is there and the warmth in your heart when you are thinking of someone are all connections from beyond your present vision. Just like the wind that you can’t see without dust, you know it exists and accept that without question because you can see evidence of it—you can hear it and you can feel it upon your skin. It is the same with energy. We can’t see it without aids and we know it exists. Remember when I said that all living beings are made of energy? When you are open to the possibility that there are other ways to feel, you become aware of everything around you, including those who are no longer part of our physical world.
Hear The Signs
For me, this has been the most challenging and rewarding sign of all. For me, this has brought the most peace to my heart. I hear my mother’s voice in my thoughts, sometimes in my dreams and often during my day at random times. Sometimes I hear her expressing her love or her concern for my safety (once a mom, always a mom). I hear my brother’s laugh when I think of him and it makes me smile— I know it is him because he has a very distinctive laugh like no one else I know. I hear the voices of so many people that are no longer here on Earth physically when I think of them, and this is the sign that confirms, for me, that they are still within my heart. Some are more vocal than others, and sometimes I address them out loud so they can feel my vibration too. Choosing to learn, practice and embrace this way of connecting with those who are gone from this Earth has brought peace to my heart and allows me to live free of the pain of loss.
“You are never without when they are always within”
For centuries we have been taught that death is something to be feared, it is the darkness, the end, the final curtain of life and like everything else in life there are two contrasting sides. There are many cultures that belief in the light of death, meaning they see the illumination and without fear they understand that death is another stage of life. I think about death, not from a place of fear but from a place of curiosity, do we, as spiritual beings, really die? When we die is it really the end of our time here on Earth?
The deeper I dive into this subject the more I believe that the answer to those questions is no. As I listen to my heart I feel an inner knowing that we are infinite beings and our time on Earth is but a moment in our entire journey. Through the study of Epi-genetics, and the Quantum Sciences we have learned that all living things are made up of energy molecules and that energy is infinite. If we are infinite beings and we do live forever then it makes sense to me that the true essence of who we are never actually dies. It is for this reason I do not fear death and I experience the loss of the people I love differently than most. I can still see them when they are gone, I can still feel them after they pass and I can still hear them when they are near.
I used to think there was something wrong with me because I didn’t react to death like others. When I was younger I pretended to be deeply mournful to fit in so I didn’t stand out as different. As I got older I allowed my differences to show and I was seen as cold or unfeeling. The deeper I dive into this subject the more I realize that there is nothing wrong with me or my view, in fact, I find it enlightening, empowering and exciting! It is a gift that I have to share with others who are trapped within the pain and suffering on the dark side of death.
I am never alone as long as I have you in my heart,
I know you are with me when I hear your laugh,
I feel your love and support with every beat of my heart,
I see you in my memories as I reflect on our time together, you bring a smile to my face,
I am touched by your presence in every breath that I take and,
I am one with you for as long as I live, now and forever.
I feel sadness when I hear of someone passing and then my mind goes straight to celebration! Within my experience of death I celebrate who they were while they were living among us and I let them know that they still matter. It is the only way I know how to be when it comes to dealing with this loss.
In my world I live among the living, both those who are physically here and those who are not. What I have come to understand is once I adjusted the way I relate, I am free to experience both without deep despair or the painful feeling of loss and for this I am grateful. My heart is full of love from those who no longer walk this Earth but are still present in another form.
For those of you who feel stuck under the weight of losing loved ones I am happy to share my process with you so you too can enjoy the light side of death. Knowing that those who have passed are always with you, gives you the freedom to live without the burden of loss. When you are ready to be free reach out with this contact form. I am here to share this gift.
I have been known to say “knowing doesn’t make a difference” when talking about what to do when making changes in my life. For example, I would say “I want to lose weight”, I know there are countless ways to lose weight and I’m not using any of them! It feels like every day that someone is sharing their weight loss method that worked for them and if I used it I would lose weight too! Yes, I believe this is true and knowing doesn’t make a difference!
I could lose weight (I don’t have any medical reasons why I can’t) and I choose not too. Why? Because there is something else at play here that lives deep within my sub-conscious that stops me and until I find it nothing will work. Anytime I feel blocked or held back in my life the culprit is a limiting belief I hold in my sub-conscious mind.
When you consider that we have thousands of thoughts coursing through our brains every minute and the challenging part is we are unaware of most of them. Is it possible that there are limiting beliefs among those thoughts that are mucking up our lives? As I read the “The Biology of Belief” by Dr. Bruce Lipton I have learned more about the existence of these beliefs and how they influence my actions and inactions.
Knowing this DOES make a difference!
Eureka, I have found a piece of life’s puzzle that was missing! Now I have what I need to change the list of beliefs I have been listening to most of my life, rewriting them in a way that empowers me. Is it possible to change the words in my belief statements and create new believable belief statements? Could it be this simple? The answer is YES and it’s highly effective when you go through the steps I am sharing here.
It starts with identifying the hidden belief statements by looking at your feelings and actions in a specific situation. For example, when I looked at my current financial situation I focussed on how I felt about it, how I viewed money, how I saw other people with money, how I handled money, etc. What emerged were very loud, very negative thoughts and feelings I had about money. Up till now, I wasn’t aware of most of those thoughts and feelings and for the few, I was aware of, I didn’t see them as controlling my life! This was a total eye-opener for me!
What is so cool is, I use this process in all areas of my life where I have felt stuck, stopped, and out of ways to change.
Here is the step by step process I went through:
I identified the limiting belief as I believed it to be (the negative statement I heard in my mind)
I reworded the old belief statement into a positive one using the following criteria: state in the first person (I), use present tense (now, not future), using positive language and keeping it short and finally, make it emotionally meaningful to me (resonating)
I effectively use these statements in meditation, emotional freedom technique and written form to remind myself that they are my truth.
It sounds simple, doesn’t it? I can assure you it wasn’t and each time I go through this process I can honestly say it is so worth the discomfort of converting old into new! When I was writing my original belief statements I was taken back as the words I wrote would cause tears to well up in my eyes. The feelings were so raw and right there! I was literally writing and crying at the same time and struggling through the process. I had a flashback of specific moments in my life that were painful and confirmed why I believed these statements. I have to say I learn a few valuable lessons while going through this experience 1. the pain of living with these statements far outweighed the pain I was feeling at the moment and 2. I didn’t die going through this exercise.
I was challenged to reword these belief statements using the criteria. I found myself using words like I wish, I want, I will, none of which are present tense. I also found my statements were too long and when I read them, they sounded good but I wasn’t really connected to them. What’s really amazing to me is the completeness of all the work I went through in this process. Now, I can look at these statements and I no longer have any feelings about them. I have come back to this post on many occasions to test the process and when I read these statements it’s like they didn’t mean anything to me. I am so grateful for the tools I have learned and as new limiting beliefs expose themselves to me I put myself through this exercise with them too.
Here is a list of limiting beliefs I identified for myself, as you read this you may find yourself resonating with these particular beliefs too. Feel free to use them if you do.
Original belief: I believe that when I ask for help no-one will be there for me
New belief: I feel love and support from others like a warm blanket on a cold day
Original belief: I believe that no matter what I do things will never change for me
New belief: Every step I take changes my view of life
Original belief: I believe that happiness is possible I just don’t know what will make me happy
New belief: I recognize happy moments in my life every day, both big and small
Old belief: I believe, despite multiple attempts to change it, I am not where I want to be and I will never get there
New belief: I am exactly where I need to be and anywhere I want to go is reachable from here
When I read these words a smile has replaced the tears and the peacefulness I feel inside confirms the transformation for me. It takes little steps to transform your limiting beliefs and the promise of giant leaps is real. Yes, it does work and it can work for you too when you are ready. If you need help formulating your statements, feel free to contact me for help.