Tag Archives: low self-esteem

I am Worthy



Of course I am, I say these words to myself all the time! I AM worthy of the best that love and life have to offer! Right? Saying this statement in a Psych-K session revealed otherwise and it was the first time I experienced the difference between what I thought was true and the truth I was unaware of. How is this possible and what the heck is Psych-K?

Psych-K is a relatively young healing system created by Robert Williams back in 1987. This modality works at a sub-conscious level as a truth revealing and balancing tool used to identify and effectively rewrite limiting beliefs into empowering ones. A long statement that means your inner truth, no matter what you say is revealed, using muscle testing techniques, to confirm your truth. It’s your personal lie-detector used to expose areas in your life that you may want to pay attention to. The good thing is this tool works for you not against you because it reveals the source of those pesky bad habits that block and helps you re-frame limiting beliefs driving those habits.

I learned about Psych-K in a book that I was reading, back in 2016, called “Biology of Belief” by Dr. Bruce Lipton. He talked about this modality and his experiences with it. I was intrigued, something in here spoke to my inner knowing and I stepped onto the path of learning more. I found out that Psych-K was indeed a healing modality and workshops to learn how to use it was available in my area. I signed up for the basic course and experienced my first of many mind-blown moments.

It was my turn to work with the instructor, Sandra Wallin, in the front of the group. We went through the setup procedure to establish connection between us and to recognize how I responded to positive and negative responses. We both clearly understood the different responses and then we began, it was like this.

Sandra: “Do you believe that you are worthy?” “Of course!” I said, with a big smile on my face, this was something I had done a lot of healing work around.

Sandra: “Let’s test this statement to confirm it as your truth”. “No problem” I replied. I felt confident in my answer because I’ve been working on healing my self-worth for a while now and I believed I’ve mastered this one.

Sandra: “Repeat this statement out loud and we will muscle test for clarity, I am worthy of the best that love and life have to offer.” Immediately after repeating the statement out loud, the muscle test indicated this was not true! Not true? How could this be? I had done so much work around healing my issues with self-worth! Sandra could see my dis-belief so we did the test again slightly changing the statement to “I am not worthy…” and the results confirmed that this was the statement I truly believed. I was dumbfounded. She asked me if I would like to transform that believe statement into a positive truth and I said “absolutely!”. We went through the balance procedure for re-writing the dis-empowering belief statement into an em-powering one and locked it into my sub-conscious mind and proceeded to muscle test the original statement again. This time the results were reversed and I was introduced to the difference between conscious and sub-conscious minds.

I had no idea they were not one and the same and I certainly had no idea they didn’t work the same! I also learned that day that I wanted to learn more about this modality so I signed up and completed the Advanced course in January 2018 and added this life-changing tool to my growing tool chest.

Today, three years later I still use this tool, combined with a few others I’ve collected along the way, to help others find their self-worth too. I truly believe that we are all worthy of the best that love and life have to offer and yes I muscle tested this statement to be sure that it’s my truth.

#SharedWisdom

I remember the first time I intentionally looked into my own eyes (with the help of a full length mirror) and said, “I love you”.

I couldn’t do it.

It felt like a big lie.

I was so uncomfortable in my own skin.

This was an incredibly painful exercise.

This is also one of the most transformational exercises I’ve ever done to finally break my relationship with self-loathing. I share this exercise with every women I work with who battle low self-esteem and self-worth because self-love is the first step to defeating the hold these have in our lives. I invite you to try this exercise for yourself and watch your truthful reaction. It’s perfect how ever it shows up because it’s exactly where you are on this journey.

The Exercise:

Stand naked in front of a full length mirror, take a moment to really look at every part of you. Notice how you look at yourself ~ with love or distain? Notice how you feel ~ are you comfortable or uncomfortable with what you see? Then look into your own eyes and say out loud, “I love you”. I bet you are in full discomfort at this point and that your eyes broke contact.

Find comfort in knowing that you are not alone in your experience of this, for myself and all the women I’ve shared this with I can say, we know how you feel. The good news is, it gets easier to do the more you practice and the day you can comfortably look without looking away is the day you can honestly say, “I love you, with all your flaws, smiles, tears, habits, everything, I just love you.

This is the day you connect with yourself in a way you’ve never imagined for yourself, and it’s the day you truly feel love as it was intended to be felt because you are worthy of it. It’s also really important to understand that self-love IS NOT the same as self-absorbed like our society would like us to believe! Looking back at my own relationship with self-love I can see why my self-worth, self-care and self-esteem were so low!

I remember my mother reminding me that it wasn’t nice to stare at myself in the mirror, it was vain or having girlfriends say “you think you are something special” like that was something bad. How many of us heard a parent say “stop thinking about yourself, stop being so selfish, it’s rude to care about yourself first”. I grew up in the era of being a good girl meant taking care of everyone else’s needs before your own. I am so glad we have evolved! Thank goodness we have re-discovered the importance of self-love and recognize that it’s vital to truly loving others!

I love you too!

The fact is loving yourself first is the doorway to truly loving others in a way that we were meant to feel love. I think RuPaul says it best and I quote: “If you can’t love yourself, how the hell can you love anyone else!” I love RuPaul, s-he says it with such clarity. I see self-love as filling my cup first and it over-flows nourishing others in the process. The more love I have for myself, the more love I have to give others and I can’t give what I don’t have.

Giant Leaps From Little Steps


photo of a man sitting under the tree

Photo by Samuel Silitonga on Pexels.com

I have been known to say “knowing doesn’t make a difference” when talking about what to do when making changes in my life.  For example, I would say “I want to lose weight”, I know there are countless ways to lose weight and I’m not using any of them!  It feels like every day that someone is sharing their weight loss method that worked for them and if I used it I would lose weight too!  Yes, I believe this is true and knowing doesn’t make a difference!

I could lose weight (I don’t have any medical reasons why I can’t) and I choose not too.  Why? Because there is something else at play here that lives deep within my sub-conscious that stops me and until I find it nothing will work. Anytime I feel blocked or held back in my life the culprit is a limiting belief I hold in my sub-conscious mind.

When you consider that we have thousands of thoughts coursing through our brains every minute and the challenging part is we are unaware of most of them. Is it possible that there are limiting beliefs among those thoughts that are mucking up our lives?  As I read the “The Biology of Belief” by Dr. Bruce Lipton I have learned more about the existence of these beliefs and how they influence my actions and inactions.

Knowing this DOES make a difference!

Eureka, I have found a piece of life’s puzzle that was missing!  Now I have what I need to change the list of beliefs I have been listening to most of my life, rewriting them in a way that empowers me.  Is it possible to change the words in my belief statements and create new believable belief statements?  Could it be this simple?  The answer is YES and it’s highly effective when you go through the steps I am sharing here.

It starts with identifying the hidden belief statements by looking at your feelings and actions in a specific situation.  For example, when I looked at my current financial situation I focussed on how I felt about it, how I viewed money, how I saw other people with money, how I handled money, etc.  What emerged were very loud, very negative thoughts and feelings I had about money. Up till now, I wasn’t aware of most of those thoughts and feelings and for the few, I was aware of, I didn’t see them as controlling my life!  This was a total eye-opener for me!

What is so cool is, I use this process in all areas of my life where I have felt stuck, stopped, and out of ways to change.

Here is the step by step process I went through:

  1. I identified the limiting belief as I believed it to be (the negative statement I heard in my mind)
  2. I reworded the old belief statement into a positive one using the following criteria: state in the first person (I), use present tense (now, not future), using positive language and keeping it short and finally, make it emotionally meaningful to me (resonating)
  3. I effectively use these statements in meditation, emotional freedom technique and written form to remind myself that they are my truth.

It sounds simple, doesn’t it?  I can assure you it wasn’t and each time I go through this process I can honestly say it is so worth the discomfort of converting old into new! When I was writing my original belief statements I was taken back as the words I wrote would cause tears to well up in my eyes. The feelings were so raw and right there! I was literally writing and crying at the same time and struggling through the process. I had a flashback of specific moments in my life that were painful and confirmed why I believed these statements.  I have to say I learn a few valuable lessons while going through this experience 1. the pain of living with these statements far outweighed the pain I was feeling at the moment and 2. I didn’t die going through this exercise.

I was challenged to reword these belief statements using the criteria.  I found myself using words like I wish, I want, I will, none of which are present tense.  I also found my statements were too long and when I read them, they sounded good but I wasn’t really connected to them.  What’s really amazing to me is the completeness of all the work I went through in this process. Now, I can look at these statements and I no longer have any feelings about them.  I have come back to this post on many occasions to test the process and when I read these statements it’s like they didn’t mean anything to me.  I am so grateful for the tools I have learned and as new limiting beliefs expose themselves to me I put myself through this exercise with them too.

Here is a list of limiting beliefs I identified for myself, as you read this you may find yourself resonating with these particular beliefs too.  Feel free to use them if you do.

  • Original belief: I believe that when I ask for help no-one will be there for me
  • New belief: I feel love and support from others like a warm blanket on a cold day
  • Original belief: I believe that no matter what I do things will never change for me
  • New belief: Every step I take changes my view of life
  • Original belief: I believe that happiness is possible I just don’t know what will make me happy
  • New belief: I recognize happy moments in my life every day, both big and small
  • Old belief: I believe, despite multiple attempts to change it,  I am not where I want to be and I will never get there
  • New belief: I am exactly where I need to be and anywhere I want to go is reachable from here

When I read these words a smile has replaced the tears and the peacefulness I feel inside confirms the transformation for me. It takes little steps to transform your limiting beliefs and the promise of giant leaps is real. Yes, it does work and it can work for you too when you are ready. If you need help formulating your statements, feel free to contact me for help.

What limiting beliefs hold you back in your life?

Time to Take Out the Trash


Look familiar?

photo credit to abundancetapestry.com

Trash talk happens.  When it does, do you listen or put it in its place?

Are you aware of your “trash talk?”  Not sure?  I can tell you it comes from that little voice in your head that just said “what is she talking about? and I don’t hear voices in my head!”  Yes, that little voice.  If you have spent any time listening to that voice chances are you have heard a lot of trash talk.  You are not alone in this experience and it’s an epidemic in our society.  It is safe to say the source of our insecurities, lack of confidence and diminished view of self-worth is fuelled by trash talk and it’s time to take out the trash for good!

There is an imaginary muscle in our thoughts that, when exercised, can toss the trash when you use it, of course, and like any muscle regular exercise is needed.  Staying toned is vital to keeping the trash at a manageable level and in check at all times.  Two things that are important to understand, 1. you will never rid yourself of trash talk completely and 2. you CAN keep it at a minimum so it’s not running your life.

When it comes to any new exercise regime it’s vital to take note of where you are right now and to have a goal in mind that you are reaching for.  What happens between those two points requires consistent practice through focus, commitment, and disciplined determination.  I have a quote that I use as a tagline in my emails that says:

“discipline is simply choosing between what I want right now and what I want most”

I read it every time I send an email as a reminder of what I want most in my life.  What quote are you using to remind yourself of what’s important to you?  Find a quote that resonates with you and use it!

Now that you are aware of your trash talk, what kind of things are you hearing?  Do you catch yourself agreeing with your little voice?  Are you as horrible as your little voice says?  What we say to ourselves is horrendous and what’s really amazing is we would never allow others to say these things to us so why do we allow ourselves?  Think about it?  If someone told you that you were a loser, you will never amount to anything in your life, you are not good enough or pretty enough or you certainly don’t deserve to be happy.  You would likely give them a full fisted sandwich in the kisser!  So why do we listen to the little voice?

There was a time in our history, billions of years ago that little voice came in handy, it was the voice of reason when human beings roamed the earth in search of food and shelter.  It was every man (woman) for themselves and definitely, an animal eats animal world out there.  Wait a minute!  It sounds like nothing has changed in a billion years!!!  Our little voice is a vital part of our survival in this world and unfortunately, it doesn’t know when to shut up and keep its opinions to itself. Kidding aside that little voice has saved your life at some point and for that, you can be grateful.  The downside of having our little voice in our heads is when it goes into a negative mode and constantly bombards you with thoughts that are hurtful and damaging under the disguise of trying to keep you safe. Unfortunately, it doesn’t always pick the right things to keep you safe from and this is where you need to take charge.

Most people think that life happens to them, what they don’t realize is that we are capable of creating our lives.  Not only capable but responsible!  What is so magical at this point is when we take responsibility for the creation of our lives we also gain the power to create life any way that we want.

What do you want?

Do you have any idea of what you truly want in your life?  Most of us say “yes” but stop and think about the question and most of you will be completely blank.  I know because I have gone through this exercise myself and I go through it with my clients. I still haven’t met anyone who could clearly answer the question.  Why not?  Well, it all comes back to that pesky little voice and the trash it’s been sharing with us over the years.  Nasty!

The bottom line is, manage the little voice, have it work for you rather than against you and you can have whatever your little heart desires.

Yes, you can have it all

Vanilla ~ Chocolate ~ Choose!


“A great maturity opens in the human psyche when we accept that we can control

our impulses by conditioning our thoughts, and that we alone are responsible

for our emotions and reactions in life.”

Brendon Burchard ~ The Motivation Manifesto


Accepting Responsibility

 A light bulb moment happened for me in early 2013 when I came to the realization that I was 100% responsible for how my life.  Past. Present and Future  Wow!  The impact of that thought sent me into a dizzy spin as I recollected years of upset, suffering, heartaches, and disappointments I had experienced.

Accepting responsibility for my way of being during those times of chaos and upset was not an easy task and at the same time was very enlightening for me.  In fact, I would say truly liberating as well!  I realized that being responsible for my way of being also meant that I was in a position to choose how I wanted to experience life from that moment on.

I had the pleasure of getting this realization through a funny exercise called “Vanilla ~ Chocolate ~ Choose.  I observed the course leader (I was in a self-discovery course) working with a volunteer from the crowd on the subject of choosing vs. decision and it went something like this:

Course Leader: “I want you to choose an ice cream flavor, either vanilla or chocolate and tell me why you chose it”.

Volunteer: “I choose vanilla because it’s my favorite flavor”.

Course Leader:  “Got it, and that was a decision you made based on a reason, therefore, it was not a choice but a decision”.  “Let’s try that again”. “Vanilla or Chocolate, choose”

Volunteer: “I choose vanilla because I don’t like chocolate”

Course Leader: “Got it, and that too was a decision you made based on a reason is not a choice but a decision”. “Let’s try that again.” Vanilla or Chocolate, choose.”

Volunteer: “I choose vanilla.”

Course Leader: “Why did you choose vanilla?”

Volunteer: “Because vanilla tastes better!”

The volunteer was getting quite upset with this conversation, in her mind, she WAS choosing vanilla but apparently, she was making decisions, not a choice according to the Course Leader.  She was thinking she was never going to get it right. The Course Leader assured her that she was so close to getting it and encouraged her to try again.

Course Leader: “Vanilla ~ Chocolate ~ Choose”

Volunteer: “I choose Vanilla.”

Course Leader: “Why did you choose Vanilla?”

The exasperated volunteer said: “Because I choose vanilla!!!”

Course Leader: “Yes!  Now that is a choice!

It’s subtle and significant at the same time, the difference is, a decision is made based on and because of your reasons and a choice is made after considerating your reasons. Can you see the difference?  If not keep looking, this will make sense I promise!

What difference does this make in our lives?  When we use reasons to justify our actions we are not committed to our decisions because those reasons can change (it happens a lot), we are left questioning our decisions and feeling lost.  When we take our reasons into consideration then we are free to make our choice and be committed to something that becomes everything.  For example, the athlete that trains tirelessly for hours, days, months and years does so because they are committed to mastering a skill and achieving a level of excellence important to them.  If it was a decision to exercise they would likely quit after the first experience of body fatigue.  As a choice, they push through the difficulties no matter what.

One does not decide to be a performing artist ~ one is a performing artist.

One does not decide to be happy ~ one is happy.

Choice ~ Choose

There is a significant difference between decision and choice.  What is the relevance of this to being responsible for your life experiences?  Choosing to acknowledge and being responsible for what you have in life is your freedom to choose how you deal with things no matter what comes your way.  Acknowledging is not the same as being resigned to and this is where most people get stuck.  Do you choose to have cancer?  No, you choose to acknowledge that you have cancer and live your life dealing with it powerfully and purposefully. What that looks like for you is your choice.

Can you identify in your life where you have decided rather than chosen?  It’s can be challenging to see the difference between the two and I invite you to join me in this conversation on Facebook.  I have started a private group page to allow conversations like this to happen within a safe environment.  If you would like to join us please use the contact form below to send me your request or go on Facebook ask to join C3Now and choose to be in the conversation!

Imagine what your life would look like if you lived it by choice? Think about it.

If you were free ~ what would you choose?


Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

If you were truly free to choose your life and all that went into it, what would it look like for you?  An interesting question, when asked conjures up quick images of fame, wealth, and a rock star’s lifestyle for most people.  But, when you really look at this question and attempt to identify what you REALLY want those images typically disappear and a blank void fills your thoughts.  At least this has been my experience in the past and I believe there are other people who have experienced the same.

Lately, I have become curious about this phenomenon and took the opportunity to explore why it happens and what to do about it.  What I have discovered is that we have so many thoughts in our minds that they can be overwhelming.  It’s the point of overwhelm that creates blank spots in our thoughts.  Here is what I believe to be the most effective way to navigate through this. These are the steps I used to go through a process of clearly defining my dreams.  Here are my answers to the question ~ if I were free to choose my life what would it look like.

Step 1 ~ identify what you want and fill each want with details as if they are right now.  Get creative and journal the vivid details! Be sure to use in the now descriptions and words such as “I am” and “it is or has”.  If you find yourself using future type language like “I wish, I want to, I will”, stop and rewrite the description in the present tense and continue the exercise

I choose comfort

Comfort for me includes a warm and welcoming home of my own. it has alternative power & heat, modern conveniences, and state of the art appliances & equipment to run it.  it is a nice size around 1000-1500 sqft with two bedrooms/2 bathrooms, a bright kitchen/dining area, and a large living room for entertaining.  Outside is wooded from the road to the house for privacy and the property opens up onto a lake filled with Rainbow Trout and Dolly Vardens (I love fishing!) I am living mortgage free and enjoying the company of many friends & family who come to visit.

I choose freedom

Freedom for me includes financial freedom where I’m free to enjoy holiday adventures everywhere in the world, anytime I choose to go. I enjoy the freedom to shower gifts on the people in my life that I love and care about. I enjoy the freedom to give to others as it moves me, having the freedom to give to others gives me so much pleasure!

I choose adventure

Adventure for me is having the ability to explore the world and discover the beauty within it.  Adventure means I am forever learning new things and new ways of being that continue to surprise me with results I never thought possible.

I choose love

I love my friends and family and cherish the time we have together.  For me, love means creating memories with my grandchildren and having their eyes light up when they see me.  Love means having a partner who understands me as I understand him and we accept each other for who we are and who we are not.  I feel loved by my children and hear their love every time we talk, I feel the warmth of their love every time we get together and I am a reflection of their love.  To love without question or condition and always with support is the unconditional love for me.

I choose abundance

I love abundance the most!  Abundance oozes into every crevice of my life and is visible every moment of the day from the smallest of details to the largest, beyond comprehension.  I experience the abundance around me in nature, within the objects I touch like the smooth beach pebbles and the soft emerald green moss beneath my feet in the forest.  I am grateful for having the ability to appreciate all the abundance through my ability to touch, taste, smell, hear, and see.  I am truly blessed to be where I am in life and in the world.

This is step 1, being clear about what I have in my life, even before I have it!  The more detail you add the clearer this will be for you and your ability to create with more success.  Successful manifestation happens when you can see it, feel it, hear it, smell it, and finally taste it in that order!

On to step two…

Now that I have identified what I want in my life in step 1, step 2 is about breathing life into my wants and successfully manifesting results.  In other words, taking actions to fulfill my vision.  The creation of a vision board or boards depending on how many images I find for each category identified in step 1.

I am a visual person and being able to see images of my desires works for me.  If you are more audio or kinetic you will want to find ways to hear or touch your vision board could be an audio recording of you speaking your vision or using 3D printing to create models of your vision.  Choose what works for you and get started.

Back in the day, I used to cut pictures out of magazines and paste them onto poster board or into journals to create my vision boards.

Today I love using Pinterest to hold images of my vision and I also discovered Mind Movies! For those of us who like audio visual boards!

HEADS UP HERE! These sites can eat up hours of your time and to fully utilize them definitely allow yourself ample time to explore them.  Be responsible!  DO NOT go onto these sites before leaving for work or during work hours.  If you do, you run the risk of becoming unemployed.   I save these sites for Sunday morning, sit in bed with a coffee and my laptop.  I am free to explore to my heart’s content without worry.  Pick your time and day and give yourself permission to surf with abandonment!

Something to remember when creating vision boards is that they are always evolving just like my vision of what I want evolves so do my boards.  This is where Pinterest works best for me! Feel free to check out my Pinterest page and perhaps find inspiration there for yourself.  PTBestsolutions

I have recently started experimenting with something called “quantum jumping”, from what I understand is based on the beliefs of quantum physics and quantum mechanics.  What these ‘quantums’ have in common is the belief in multiple universes or planes.  Quantum jumping is a meditation, either led or self-directed, designed to put you into an alpha state of mind and ready to jump between universes encountering your doppelganger (identical you). What you do from that point is the interesting part.  Here’s what I have experienced since I started the practice of QJing.

  • Quantum Jumping is an interesting experience that allows me to see myself differently and experience ‘what if’ scenarios. i.e. successful me, happy me, businesswoman me, explorer me, adventurous me, etc. you get the picture?
  • An example of a ‘what if’ scenario would be quantum jumping into a universe where I made a different decision in the past that completely changed my future.
  • While in the presence of my doppelganger I begin by quietly observing ‘her’ going about life and at some point I step into ‘her’ body, merging with her to become one with ‘her’.  By doing this I get to experience the sensations she feels and take on her energy.  When that’s complete I jump back to my universe taking with me my newly acquired energy and experience.
  • It’s taking a bit of getting used to and I have found quantum jumping to be a fun, interesting, and adventurous experience.  One thing is for sure, each time I jump I find myself feeling refreshed, uplifted, energized, and ready to take on the world.

Now an intricate part of step 2, quantum jumping adds a layer to the process of having what I most want in my life.  You can find out more about Quantum jumping with expert jumper Bert Goldman, he offers free online content and paid courses if you want to jump for yourself.

What’s step 3?

If you would like notification of the following steps definitely add your name to the list by subscribing to my blog and if you feel so inclined, leave a comment below!  Thank you for being here now and giving life to my words through your eyes.

If you would like notification of the following steps definitely add your name to the list by subscribing to my blog and if you feel so inclined, leave a comment below!  Thank you for being here now and giving life to my words through your eyes.

ciao for now,

Lisa