Tag Archives: Mental Health

Giant Leaps From Little Steps

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photo of a man sitting under the tree
Photo by Samuel Silitonga on Pexels.com

I have been known to say “knowing doesn’t make a difference” when talking about what to do when making changes in my life.  For example, I would say “I want to lose weight”, I know there are countless ways to lose weight and I’m not using any of them!  It feels like every day that someone is sharing their weight loss method that worked for them and if I used it I would lose weight too!  Yes, I believe this is true and knowing doesn’t make a difference!

I could lose weight (I don’t have any medical reasons why I can’t) and I choose not too.  Why? Because there is something else at play here that lives deep within my sub-conscious that stops me and until I find it nothing will work. Anytime I feel blocked or held back in my life the culprit is a limiting belief I hold in my sub-conscious mind.

When you consider that we have thousands of thoughts coursing through our brains every minute and the challenging part is we are unaware of most of them. Is it possible that there are limiting beliefs among those thoughts that are mucking up our lives?  As I read the “The Biology of Belief” by Dr. Bruce Lipton I have learned more about the existence of these beliefs and how they influence my actions and inactions.

Knowing this DOES make a difference!

Eureka, I have found a piece of life’s puzzle that was missing!  Now I have what I need to change the list of beliefs I have been listening to most of my life, rewriting them in a way that empowers me.  Is it possible to change the words in my belief statements and create new believable belief statements?  Could it be this simple?  The answer is YES and it’s highly effective when you go through the steps I am sharing here.

It starts with identifying the hidden belief statements by looking at your feelings and actions in a specific situation.  For example, when I looked at my current financial situation I focussed on how I felt about it, how I viewed money, how I saw other people with money, how I handled money, etc.  What emerged were very loud, very negative thoughts and feelings I had about money. Up till now, I wasn’t aware of most of those thoughts and feelings and for the few, I was aware of, I didn’t see them as controlling my life!  This was a total eye-opener for me!

What is so cool is, I use this process in all areas of my life where I have felt stuck, stopped, and out of ways to change.

Here is the step by step process I went through:

  1. I identified the limiting belief as I believed it to be (the negative statement I heard in my mind)
  2. I reworded the old belief statement into a positive one using the following criteria: state in the first person (I), use present tense (now, not future), using positive language and keeping it short and finally, make it emotionally meaningful to me (resonating)
  3. I effectively use these statements in meditation, emotional freedom technique and written form to remind myself that they are my truth.

It sounds simple, doesn’t it?  I can assure you it wasn’t and each time I go through this process I can honestly say it is so worth the discomfort of converting old into new! When I was writing my original belief statements I was taken back as the words I wrote would cause tears to well up in my eyes. The feelings were so raw and right there! I was literally writing and crying at the same time and struggling through the process. I had a flashback of specific moments in my life that were painful and confirmed why I believed these statements.  I have to say I learn a few valuable lessons while going through this experience 1. the pain of living with these statements far outweighed the pain I was feeling at the moment and 2. I didn’t die going through this exercise.

I was challenged to reword these belief statements using the criteria.  I found myself using words like I wish, I want, I will, none of which are present tense.  I also found my statements were too long and when I read them, they sounded good but I wasn’t really connected to them.  What’s really amazing to me is the completeness of all the work I went through in this process. Now, I can look at these statements and I no longer have any feelings about them.  I have come back to this post on many occasions to test the process and when I read these statements it’s like they didn’t mean anything to me.  I am so grateful for the tools I have learned and as new limiting beliefs expose themselves to me I put myself through this exercise with them too.

Here is a list of limiting beliefs I identified for myself, as you read this you may find yourself resonating with these particular beliefs too.  Feel free to use them if you do.

  • Original belief: I believe that when I ask for help no-one will be there for me
  • New belief: I feel love and support from others like a warm blanket on a cold day
  • Original belief: I believe that no matter what I do things will never change for me
  • New belief: Every step I take changes my view of life
  • Original belief: I believe that happiness is possible I just don’t know what will make me happy
  • New belief: I recognize happy moments in my life every day, both big and small
  • Old belief: I believe, despite multiple attempts to change it,  I am not where I want to be and I will never get there
  • New belief: I am exactly where I need to be and anywhere I want to go is reachable from here

When I read these words a smile has replaced the tears and the peacefulness I feel inside confirms the transformation for me. It takes little steps to transform your limiting beliefs and the promise of giant leaps is real. Yes, it does work and it can work for you too when you are ready. If you need help formulating your statements, feel free to contact me for help.

What limiting beliefs hold you back in your life?

Time to Take Out the Trash

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Look familiar?

photo credit to abundancetapestry.com

Trash talk happens.  When it does, do you listen or put it in its place?

Are you aware of your “trash talk?”  Not sure?  I can tell you it comes from that little voice in your head that just said “what is she talking about? and I don’t hear voices in my head!”  Yes, that little voice.  If you have spent any time listening to that voice chances are you have heard a lot of trash talk.  You are not alone in this experience and it’s an epidemic in our society.  It is safe to say the source of our insecurities, lack of confidence and diminished view of self-worth is fuelled by trash talk and it’s time to take out the trash for good!

There is an imaginary muscle in our thoughts that, when exercised, can toss the trash when you use it, of course, and like any muscle regular exercise is needed.  Staying toned is vital to keeping the trash at a manageable level and in check at all times.  Two things that are important to understand, 1. you will never rid yourself of trash talk completely and 2. you CAN keep it at a minimum so it’s not running your life.

When it comes to any new exercise regime it’s vital to take note of where you are right now and to have a goal in mind that you are reaching for.  What happens between those two points requires consistent practice through focus, commitment, and disciplined determination.  I have a quote that I use as a tagline in my emails that says:

“discipline is simply choosing between what I want right now and what I want most”

I read it every time I send an email as a reminder of what I want most in my life.  What quote are you using to remind yourself of what’s important to you?  Find a quote that resonates with you and use it!

Now that you are aware of your trash talk, what kind of things are you hearing?  Do you catch yourself agreeing with your little voice?  Are you as horrible as your little voice says?  What we say to ourselves is horrendous and what’s really amazing is we would never allow others to say these things to us so why do we allow ourselves?  Think about it?  If someone told you that you were a loser, you will never amount to anything in your life, you are not good enough or pretty enough or you certainly don’t deserve to be happy.  You would likely give them a full fisted sandwich in the kisser!  So why do we listen to the little voice?

There was a time in our history, billions of years ago that little voice came in handy, it was the voice of reason when human beings roamed the earth in search of food and shelter.  It was every man (woman) for themselves and definitely, an animal eats animal world out there.  Wait a minute!  It sounds like nothing has changed in a billion years!!!  Our little voice is a vital part of our survival in this world and unfortunately, it doesn’t know when to shut up and keep its opinions to itself. Kidding aside that little voice has saved your life at some point and for that, you can be grateful.  The downside of having our little voice in our heads is when it goes into a negative mode and constantly bombards you with thoughts that are hurtful and damaging under the disguise of trying to keep you safe. Unfortunately, it doesn’t always pick the right things to keep you safe from and this is where you need to take charge.

Most people think that life happens to them, what they don’t realize is that we are capable of creating our lives.  Not only capable but responsible!  What is so magical at this point is when we take responsibility for the creation of our lives we also gain the power to create life any way that we want.

What do you want?

Do you have any idea of what you truly want in your life?  Most of us say “yes” but stop and think about the question and most of you will be completely blank.  I know because I have gone through this exercise myself and I go through it with my clients. I still haven’t met anyone who could clearly answer the question.  Why not?  Well, it all comes back to that pesky little voice and the trash it’s been sharing with us over the years.  Nasty!

The bottom line is, manage the little voice, have it work for you rather than against you and you can have whatever your little heart desires.

Yes, you can have it all

Time is of the Essence

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No Time!
No Time!

Have you ever heard someone say “I don’t have time?”  Of course you have and I expect it’s something you have said yourself many times throughout your life, most of us have.  “I don’t have time!  Is this really true?  Is it possible to change time, create time or make time?

I had the pleasure of spending time with a lovely group of women the other night and one conversation in particular stood out for me.  One of the younger women was sharing that she didn’t have time to do the things she wanted to do and I could see she was quite stressed about it.  Listening to her share make me think about the whole concept of time and how our lives are so wrapped up in it.

Someone once said to me that “time doesn’t exist anywhere else but in our minds and only humans use time as a measure”.  I laughed and replied, “what do you mean time doesn’t exist?  Of course it does and it’s finite!”  There are 24 hours in a day, 8 hours in a work day (for some) and an hour has a maximum of 60 minutes!  I am most aware of time when I have more things to do than the time to do them.  You know what I mean?  So you can’t tell me that time doesn’t exist!!!

Funny though, when I started thinking about it and allowed this concept to linger on my mind I noticed a shift in my perception of time.  I noticed that, on occasion, time appeared to stop and at times felt like it slowed down, almost like a rubber band, it seemed like it stretched at opportune and inopportune times.  How was this possible? I wanted to know more.

I set aside my biased opinion about time and allowed myself to consider that time really didn’t exist outside of my mind.  I imagined my day without using the concept of time and an amazing thing happened.  Time disappeared.  Literally, it disappeared and I was amazed at how much I was able to accomplish that day.  Not only did I get a lot done, I was able to truly enjoy all that I did and I marvelled how I felt when I was done.  Reflecting back on the day I could see how, by removing the concept of time, my day was full and fulfilling at the same time without stress and anxiety.  As a result of this experiment I have become a believer that time is a concept and that we do have the ability to exist without it any time we wish.   I have adopted the thought that “I am the creator of my time and I am not longer controlled by time itself.”  Could you imagine what this would look like on a daily basis?

Utter chaos I would suspect.  Time was created for the purpose of controlling people.  Think about it.  Who would show up, on time, for work?  For appointments?  For play dates and coffee?  Imagine if time hadn’t been created, how would we manage to function?  Quite differently I would venture and without the mountain of issues we have today.  Go back to a time when time wasn’t measure as it is today, back to prehistoric times when time was measure differently.

I’m not an expert on prehistoric times and I understand is that period of time was measure by seasons and daylight.  Cavemen and women got up with the light, went to sleep when it was dark, planted crops when the ground thawed and harvested before the ground froze again. I imagine life was much harder and much simpler without all the modern conveniences we enjoy today and I bet they didn’t sit around the fire exclaiming that they “didn’t have time”, nor were they stressed about all the things that they had to do.  They were too busy doing rather than talking about it.  I understand that their thoughts and thought processes were quite simple compared to the modern man and woman of today.  Back then I expect their thoughts consisted of “eat or be eaten, find shelter and keep warm”. The simplicity of their time, I would suspect, allowed time to move much slower than the pace we experience today.

Fast forward to today.  It wouldn’t be realistic to think we can live without time all the time and I believe we can alter our perception of time when we know how and when it suits our needs.  The secret is in the knowing and I will share what I know so you too can make time for the things you want in your life.

There are a few key elements required to successfully alter time one of which is being fully present in the moment.  Although challenging being present in the moment is a learned skills that requires ongoing practice to master.  The good news is once learned this skill will enhance other areas of your life as well.  What do I mean by “being present in the moment?”

Simply put it means to be fully focused or aware of everything around you in any given moment without conscious thought about anything else from the past or in the future.  Take a moment to be aware of your surrounding right now as you read this and note everything that you have not either noticed or paid attention to because you were thinking about what you did yesterday/last week or what you need to do later/tomorrow etc.  

Take a moment to really acknowledge your present surroundings including visual objects, sounds, smells, how your body feels and the thoughts in your head.  A simple exercise of thanking each item you acknowledge as you become aware of them is a great way to keep your focus in the moment rather than wandering back to past or present thoughts.  If you find your thoughts wandering (as they do in all of us) gently direct them back to the exercise at hand.  What I do when I find my thoughts wandering is to say (silently) “thank you for sharing and right now I am being present in the moment”.  Sometimes I have to repeat this many times to get back to the exercise and that’s okay, it normal and part of the process of learning and strengthening this skill.

At this very moment, as I do this exercise myself, this is what I am experiencing.  I can hear the ticking of a clock and I am grateful for the consistent sound of each tick.  I can hear a consistent hum or vibration, I believe coming from within me, that I wasn’t aware of before and I am grateful for the opportunity to hear it.  In the distance I can hear the occasional vehicle passing nearby on the highway, airplane flying and I am grateful for the times that I live in that allow for this type of transportation.  Visually I am surrounded by the warmth of wood in the cabin where I am sitting and I’m grateful for all this cabin has to offer me including warmth, protection from the elements, security and comfort.  I am aware of the things within my sight including a soft light, comfortable couches and modern furniture I am grateful to have in my life.  I am present to the colours of things in my space, I have surrounded myself with earth tones of greens/browns/black/red/orange and natural tones.  I am grateful for the soothing feelings I have when I’m in this space.  In this moment I am thinking of nothing else but what I have just described and for a brief moment the rest of the world did not exist.  While in this exercise I was not aware of time at all or anything else outside of what I just shared.  Interestingly enough while focussing on everything around me I didn’t hear the sound of typing on my computer, so technically, I left one sound out of being in the moment.  🙂

I encourage you to practice this skill as often as you can to help you build your muscles.  Literally, take a minute or 10 to fit this exercise into your day and begin to create the time you need to do the things you want.  I promise you will feel timeless joy from this exercise.  Being in the moment is one element of managing time, the other elements are: clear intentions (knowing what you want), permission (giving yourself permission to experience) and discipline to name a few.  I will talk about each of these in future posts and show you how you can create time to have what you want in your life.

To live your life as you choose and to have the time to enjoy it is my wish for you.  If you have an experience you would like to share or you would like to hear more, please feel free to contact me.

Return to Empowerment

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Red Rover, red rover, come on over!  The image is a portrait of NASA’s Mars Rover, “Opportunity”  who has been roaming the surface of Mars since January 25, 2004. A man-made machine created to explore the surface of Mars in search of water or evidence of water for the purpose of supporting future generations of human beings. 

“Opportunity” has a number of features that are quite human-like, such as sight, taste, and touch.  It (genderless) can hear and carries out orders or commands of which it then relays to the team of NASA professionals back on Earth.  Once the information is received and translated into words and images, the team gets to experience life on Mars as it is right now!  As a human being, Opportunity is operating via its sub-conscious mind, carrying out tasks provided by its conscious mind (the human at the controls in NASA), and providing real-time experiences for us all to see (watch NASA videos here).  The scientific community has proven without a doubt that we, as humans, operate 95% from our sub-conscious mind (rover)  and only 5% from our conscious mind (spirit or command center).  What does this all mean?  That essentially many of us are going through life asleep at the wheel and it’s time to wake up and be the driver!

” We are spiritual beings having a human experience”

We are Earth Rovers and we have chosen to roam the Earth, experience life here, and report our experiences back to our spiritual being!  Sounds crazy, doesn’t it?

If you haven’t heard of these sciences: Epigenetics, Fractal Science, Quantum Physics, or Mechanics, you will be challenged to follow this conversation. Not only are these sciences challenging all that we have been led to believe for centuries, but they are also answering the age-old questions “where did we come from” and “why are we here” in ways that actually make sense.  You can find out more about Epigenetics from Dr. Bruce Lipton’s book “The Biology of Belief” where he introduces us to the ‘Rover’ concept of human beings. Consider for a moment, the possibility, that we are actually spirit beings in human bodies here on Earth to experience life?  What if this is true??? That would mean our bodies are nothing more than vehicles created for the purpose of collecting data (sight, touch, hear, taste) and reporting back to our spirit where ever it may be in the universe?  I know what you are thinking, she is completely off her rocker with this!  Am I really?  Humor me for a few minutes more…

If this is true then life just got a whole lot more exciting!  As a spiritual being roving the Earth I am free to choose my experiences! If I don’t like what I’m experiencing now then it’s my choice to change it!  Okay, this isn’t a new idea, it’s been talked about for many years. I have been aware of this since 2012 and it seems that knowing this hasn’t made a difference. (as revealed in previous posts)  You know what they say, “Life is in the journey!”.

Consider that what stands between (me) you and (my) your life desires is not:

  • other people
  • money
  • time
  • abilities
  • location

It may appear that these are the barriers and I assure you, they are not. No, the real barrier is (my) your perception or belief of those things, and (I) you are in a position to change these anytime you want.

 “We are all living in cages with the door wide open” George Lucas
 The question is why?  If we are free to leave our caged lives why don’t we flee?  From what I’ve learned so far, the answer is because we didn’t know we could, we didn’t know how and for some of us, what we have done in the past didn’t work so we gave up.   Until now.
Now, we have knowledge (new science discoveries), new techniques & tools, and new awareness. It’s time to break through the barriers that have held us back for so many years.
While on my life journey I have discovered the most effective tool to date called “Psych-K” and now I have the ability to assist others looking to reform their limiting beliefs or perceptions. In other words, get out of our cages an on to living our life’s wishes and desires.  Sounds too good to be true?  Nope, just changing the perception of what’s possible.

Oh my goodness, it is true…!

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It is true! After many years of feeling “broken” and looking for ways to “fix” my life, I have finally found a piece of the puzzle that was missing for me in my quest to “fix” what I thought was wrong.  It turns out there is nothing wrong, nothing to fix and I’m not broken. I just need to adjust my perspective on life.

My studies regarding perspective or limiting beliefs (Biology of Beliefs written by Dr Bruce Lipton goes into great detail on this subject) has given me a new understanding of my habitual ways of being and how to change those habits that no longer work for me.  The exploration of the limiting beliefs that had me going through life repeating scenarios (have you ever said: “Damn it, I have been here before!” a reoccurring statement for me) is very revealing and enlightening at the same time.  The following is my understanding of where my beliefs were formed and the reformation of those beliefs from limiting to empowering using a technique called Psych-K.

Being Invisible

Limiting Belief #1 – “I am invisible” (a derivative of I’m not worthy)

Empowering Belief #1 – “I am seen for who I am today”

It hasn’t always been this way, looking back on my life I realize I had no idea that I was invisible. I was (still am) an outgoing adult, I am very social, an active volunteer in my community, someone others come to share their challenges in life.  People see me as a mother, wife, an entrepreneurial woman in the community but mostly, people have trouble recalling my name or they called me by some other name.  I wouldn’t correct them because I didn’t want to embarrass them and really it wasn’t a big deal, or so I thought at the time.  I recently became aware of how most things in my life are “no big deal” and I’m now realizing how that way of being, throughout life, was a significant indication of my invisibleness.

I was five years old when I became invisible, my story is not unlike many children of my age and I suspect there are many people wandering through their lives unaware that they are invisible just like I had.  What happened was my parent separated and the one person who saw me, my dad, left our family.  At the tender age of five I had been abandoned, my world, as I knew it, collapsed and I became invisible in my family.  No-one knew and the worst part is, because I wasn’t aware, I was to spend the next 50 years of my life living as an invisible person.

How could this happen and what was my evidence to support this thought?  First of all, let me clarify that I had not been abandoned as a child in the way we see abandonment.  Yes, my parents separated and for a very short time, I did see my dad on occasion.  I lived with my mother and five brothers until the age of seven when my mother remarried and introduced me to three more brothers and one sister.  My mother loved me and my stepfather did all that he could to provide for what we needed.  I had all my basic needs covered including a roof over my head, clothes on my body and food in my stomach.  I wasn’t a deprived child but I was a lonely child and I was a lost child in the group.  You can imagine how difficult it would have been to stand out in a family of 12.  Imagine how difficult it would have been to be the parents of 10 kids?  When you live life day to day in survival mode you can imagine that love and nurture were not part of our daily routine.  I don’t tell you this to gain your sympathy, I share this to give you insight into how I lived my life as an invisible child. being invisible

Don’t get me wrong I love my family and I know my family loves me because to this day I know if I was in need they would be there for me in a heartbeat.  What was missing in my life was the day to day show of affection and unconditional love that we all want in our lives and the result of what was missing in my life was more evidence of me being invisible.

I had plenty of evidence as a teenager but then, that is the time in our lives that I think most of us want to disappear.  Being invisible as a teenager worked for me.  As a teenager, I floated through life relatively unnoticed and without too many life-altering moments, in fact, I would say my teenage years were fairly uneventful and boring.  When I became a wife and mother I had many responsibilities and very little time to think about anything other than everyone else’s needs.  Like most Mothers, my time was not my own but consumed with daily tasks that made time pass very quickly.  Being invisible as a young mother was hard and welcomed at the same time.  It wasn’t until I wanted to follow my dreams, find my passion and purpose in life did this become a problem for me.  Every time I thought I found what I was looking for ‘something’ kept holding me back and I would go through many years of disappointment and frustration because I just couldn’t figure out what that ‘something’ was!

By using the Psych-K techniques I am reforming the beliefs I have habitually lived with all these years, quickly and effectively and creating the life I want now.

Lisa Johnston-Williams