Tag Archives: self-care

I am Love


I remember the first time I intentionally looked into my own eyes (with the help of a full length mirror) and said, “I love you”.

I couldn’t do it.

It felt like a big lie.

I was so uncomfortable in my own skin.

This was an incredibly painful exercise!

This is also one of the most transformational exercises I’ve ever done to finally experience a breakthrough in my relationship with self-loathing. I share this exercise with every women I work with who battle low self-esteem and self-worth because self-love is the first step to defeating the hold these have in our lives. I invite you to try this exercise for yourself and watch your truthful reaction. It’s perfect how ever it shows up because it’s exactly where you are on this journey.

The Exercise:

Inner Essence Exercise

As I stand naked in front of my full length mirror, taking a moment to really look at every part of my body, I notice the distain. I notice how I’m already feeling uncomfortable with what I see and when I look into my eyes to say, “I love you” that full blown discomfort explodes in front of me and forces me to look away!

I do not find comfort in knowing that I’m not alone in this experience and for myself and all the women I’ve shared this with I can say, I/we deserved to be loved for who we are! Truly loved, inside and out by ourselves and others! The good news is, it got easier to do this exercise the more I practiced and the day finally arrived! The day I could comfortably look in my mirror, look into my own eyes and honestly say, “I love you, with all your flaws, smiles, tears, habits, everything, I just love you.

This is the day I reconnected with the beautiful soul within me in a way I never imagined that I could, and it’s the day I truly felt love as it was intended for all of us. FOR ALL OF US. It’s really important to understand that self-love IS NOT the same as self-absorbed like our society would like us to believe! Looking back at my own relationship with self-love I can see why my self-worth, self-care and self-esteem were so low!

I remember my mother reminding me that it wasn’t nice to stare at myself in the mirror, it was vain or having girlfriends say “you think you are something special” like that was something bad. How many of us heard a parent say “stop thinking about yourself, stop being so selfish, it’s rude to care about yourself first”. I grew up in the era of being a good girl meant taking care of everyone else’s needs before my own. Thank goodness we have re-discovered the importance of self-love and recognize that it’s vital to truly loving others! It’s the right time to practice the

I love you too!

The fact is loving ourselves first is the doorway to truly loving others in a way that we were meant to feel love. I think RuPaul says it best and I quote: “If you can’t love yourself, how the hell can you love anyone else!” I love RuPaul, s-he says it with such clarity. I see self-love as filling my cup first and it over-flows nourishing others in the process. The more love I have for myself, the more love I have to give others and I can’t give what I don’t have.

I originally wrote this piece last year, December 2021, and I continue to check in with this exercise to make sure it’s still true today! I am happy to say it’s more true today and it has transformed my relationships with others as well! My capacity to love another, even when they are not showing me love has been the biggest surprise to me. To be able to return non-love with love is a gift that brings me a freedom of mind I’ve never experienced before in my lifetime. How does this work you ask?

I believe it’s because I accept myself as I am. I allow and embrace my flaws, defects, both inside and out for what they are, not what I make them mean and I recognize other people’s opinion/reaction towards me is about them not me. I wish this for everyone and if there is anything I could say or do to help others have this for themselves I will!

I am so committed to this level of love that I have chosen a name for myself that speaks to who I am for others! I have chosen the name Kula Sanayha, two Sanskrit words representing “Community” “Love”. As Kula Sanyaha I am a community of love for all beings and living by example for all who are ready to connect with the power of love.

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New World Thinking ~ In The World of Intolerance


I have been searching high and low for tolerance in the world of intolerance and I found it on highway 97 in the middle of British Columbia Canada! In fact it literally smacked me on the side of my cheek in the middle of a long drive from Vancouver to 100 Mile House in June of 2020.

I am so aware of the level of intolerance we live with daily as it has increased significantly since the beginning of the pandemic we are currently experiencing. The pressure to conform to one camp or the another is about to explode in my mind and I’ve frantically been searching for relief from that pressure since the beginning. I don’t like conflict! I do not do well with adversity and feeling like I’m swimming against the current! I have never been in such a polarized state such as we are seeing today, call me lucky or call me sheltered, all I know is I’ve never experienced the magnitude of intolerance that is present today.

Photo by Anni Roenkae on Pexels.com

Back to where this all changed for me! So here I am, on a drive from Vancouver to 100 Mile House in the middle of British Columbia. I’m escaping my realty of lockdowns at home, heading into the Cariboo to self-isolate on a 900 acre ranch. There is nothing like being in the middle of nowhere when you need to get away from everywhere! I was listening to the radio, singing along with some song when it cut to silence. I hit a dead zone, one of many on this route. That’s okay I was thinking to myself, I downloaded a few podcasts specifically for this reason. I will pop one of those on to keep me company while I drive. I chose an unknown to me, podcast called The Lifestylist with Luke Storey, who was interviewing a man talking about the current pandemic situation, it was two hours long. Perfect, I was about two hours away from my destination! Within seconds I realized that the guest speaker was a conspiracy theorist! UUUGGHHHH! I am so not into conspiracy theories, so I turned it off and found myself in silence again. This lasted for about five minutes when I decided even a conspiracy theorist was better than the deafening silence so I turned it back on. I gave myself permission to hear what this man had to say BUT I wasn’t buying in to what he was saying!

What transpired after that completely took me by surprise! What I found in his words were elements of truths that resonated within me at the very core of my being! For me what I was hearing via legacy media, “professionals” like Bonnie Henry didn’t add up, there were so many holes in what was being reported that were not resonating with me and I was feeling so lost in their words. Since the beginning I couldn’t shake the feeling that something wasn’t right and I couldn’t figure out what that was. I put it down to, I don’t know enough about this, they don’t know enough about this, it’s so new, of course none of us know enough about this and I wasn’t willing to follow just because I didn’t know!

Photo by Fiona Art on Pexels.com

I have never been a very good follower, I tried when I was younger and it never turned out for me so as an older adult (over 50) I was so grateful to finally reach an age that it was okay to do my own thing! LOL, why is it that once we hit 50 our brains switch into “I don’t give a shit what anybody thinks of me anymore”. Another thing I’m grateful for! Anyway, back to my story…

As I listened to the podcast and hearing things that were resonating I came to understand that my intolerance of other people’s views almost stopped me from hearing truths that I was connected to! My truths! Then I was thinking, if I were to listening to others that I am feeling intolerant of, such as the Bonnie Henry’s, the legacy media views and other “lunatics” (not my label) I wonder what other truths would I hear? Finally, how would I know if I’m hearing truths or non-truths? These legitimate questions flung the doors wide open on a new way of listening to the sea of information swirling about this current event. This was my opportunity to practice tolerance, discernment, and really connect with my inner-knowing! To hear the elements of truth in the array of perspectives has become my life focus and honing the art of listening has become my practice. Combined with my trust of my inner-knowing I have finally found tolerance in the world of intolerance and not a moment too soon!

Photo by Sachin C Nair on Pexels.com

What I’ve come to recognize, when I hear things that resonate, they truly do that, they resonate! I feel, what I can only describe an inner warmth throughout my body, I can hear a gentle hum within my body and I get a rush of energy that pulses from head to toe. These are my ‘signs’ of resonation, I don’t know what will show up for you as only you can discover that for yourself. I do know that if you pay attention while listening you will also come to identify yours and your ability to successfully separate your truths from the non-truths in any situation. This skill alone will give you the freedom to make choices for your higher good and for the higher good of others in your care.