Tag Archives: self-worth

I am Love


I remember the first time I intentionally looked into my own eyes (with the help of a full length mirror) and said, “I love you”.

I couldn’t do it.

It felt like a big lie.

I was so uncomfortable in my own skin.

This was an incredibly painful exercise!

This is also one of the most transformational exercises I’ve ever done to finally experience a breakthrough in my relationship with self-loathing. I share this exercise with every women I work with who battle low self-esteem and self-worth because self-love is the first step to defeating the hold these have in our lives. I invite you to try this exercise for yourself and watch your truthful reaction. It’s perfect how ever it shows up because it’s exactly where you are on this journey.

The Exercise:

Inner Essence Exercise

As I stand naked in front of my full length mirror, taking a moment to really look at every part of my body, I notice the distain. I notice how I’m already feeling uncomfortable with what I see and when I look into my eyes to say, “I love you” that full blown discomfort explodes in front of me and forces me to look away!

I do not find comfort in knowing that I’m not alone in this experience and for myself and all the women I’ve shared this with I can say, I/we deserved to be loved for who we are! Truly loved, inside and out by ourselves and others! The good news is, it got easier to do this exercise the more I practiced and the day finally arrived! The day I could comfortably look in my mirror, look into my own eyes and honestly say, “I love you, with all your flaws, smiles, tears, habits, everything, I just love you.

This is the day I reconnected with the beautiful soul within me in a way I never imagined that I could, and it’s the day I truly felt love as it was intended for all of us. FOR ALL OF US. It’s really important to understand that self-love IS NOT the same as self-absorbed like our society would like us to believe! Looking back at my own relationship with self-love I can see why my self-worth, self-care and self-esteem were so low!

I remember my mother reminding me that it wasn’t nice to stare at myself in the mirror, it was vain or having girlfriends say “you think you are something special” like that was something bad. How many of us heard a parent say “stop thinking about yourself, stop being so selfish, it’s rude to care about yourself first”. I grew up in the era of being a good girl meant taking care of everyone else’s needs before my own. Thank goodness we have re-discovered the importance of self-love and recognize that it’s vital to truly loving others! It’s the right time to practice the

I love you too!

The fact is loving ourselves first is the doorway to truly loving others in a way that we were meant to feel love. I think RuPaul says it best and I quote: “If you can’t love yourself, how the hell can you love anyone else!” I love RuPaul, s-he says it with such clarity. I see self-love as filling my cup first and it over-flows nourishing others in the process. The more love I have for myself, the more love I have to give others and I can’t give what I don’t have.

I originally wrote this piece last year, December 2021, and I continue to check in with this exercise to make sure it’s still true today! I am happy to say it’s more true today and it has transformed my relationships with others as well! My capacity to love another, even when they are not showing me love has been the biggest surprise to me. To be able to return non-love with love is a gift that brings me a freedom of mind I’ve never experienced before in my lifetime. How does this work you ask?

I believe it’s because I accept myself as I am. I allow and embrace my flaws, defects, both inside and out for what they are, not what I make them mean and I recognize other people’s opinion/reaction towards me is about them not me. I wish this for everyone and if there is anything I could say or do to help others have this for themselves I will!

I am so committed to this level of love that I have chosen a name for myself that speaks to who I am for others! I have chosen the name Kula Sanayha, two Sanskrit words representing “Community” “Love”. As Kula Sanyaha I am a community of love for all beings and living by example for all who are ready to connect with the power of love.

Advertisement

I am Worthy



Of course I am, I say these words to myself all the time! I AM worthy of the best that love and life have to offer! Right? Saying this statement in a Psych-K session revealed otherwise and it was the first time I experienced the difference between what I thought was true and the truth I was unaware of. How is this possible and what the heck is Psych-K?

Psych-K is a relatively young healing system created by Robert Williams back in 1987. This modality works at a sub-conscious level as a truth revealing and balancing tool used to identify and effectively rewrite limiting beliefs into empowering ones. A long statement that means your inner truth, no matter what you say is revealed, using muscle testing techniques, to confirm your truth. It’s your personal lie-detector used to expose areas in your life that you may want to pay attention to. The good thing is this tool works for you not against you because it reveals the source of those pesky bad habits that block and helps you re-frame limiting beliefs driving those habits.

I learned about Psych-K in a book that I was reading, back in 2016, called “Biology of Belief” by Dr. Bruce Lipton. He talked about this modality and his experiences with it. I was intrigued, something in here spoke to my inner knowing and I stepped onto the path of learning more. I found out that Psych-K was indeed a healing modality and workshops to learn how to use it was available in my area. I signed up for the basic course and experienced my first of many mind-blown moments.

It was my turn to work with the instructor, Sandra Wallin, in the front of the group. We went through the setup procedure to establish connection between us and to recognize how I responded to positive and negative responses. We both clearly understood the different responses and then we began, it was like this.

Sandra: “Do you believe that you are worthy?” “Of course!” I said, with a big smile on my face, this was something I had done a lot of healing work around.

Sandra: “Let’s test this statement to confirm it as your truth”. “No problem” I replied. I felt confident in my answer because I’ve been working on healing my self-worth for a while now and I believed I’ve mastered this one.

Sandra: “Repeat this statement out loud and we will muscle test for clarity, I am worthy of the best that love and life have to offer.” Immediately after repeating the statement out loud, the muscle test indicated this was not true! Not true? How could this be? I had done so much work around healing my issues with self-worth! Sandra could see my dis-belief so we did the test again slightly changing the statement to “I am not worthy…” and the results confirmed that this was the statement I truly believed. I was dumbfounded. She asked me if I would like to transform that believe statement into a positive truth and I said “absolutely!”. We went through the balance procedure for re-writing the dis-empowering belief statement into an em-powering one and locked it into my sub-conscious mind and proceeded to muscle test the original statement again. This time the results were reversed and I was introduced to the difference between conscious and sub-conscious minds.

I had no idea they were not one and the same and I certainly had no idea they didn’t work the same! I also learned that day that I wanted to learn more about this modality so I signed up and completed the Advanced course in January 2018 and added this life-changing tool to my growing tool chest.

Today, three years later I still use this tool, combined with a few others I’ve collected along the way, to help others find their self-worth too. I truly believe that we are all worthy of the best that love and life have to offer and yes I muscle tested this statement to be sure that it’s my truth.

#SharedWisdom